COMMUNITY Husband supports wife in activities that keep her out of the house
long periods of time. “Before Barbara joined the Sierra Club,
I’d get home from work and she’d always be here – except for when she’d be out getting groceries or returning movies or getting me my cigarettes or whatever,” said Summers, who admitted to rarely washing dishes, doing laundry, taking showers or putting the toilet seat down during his companionless weekends. “Now, Barbara’s involvement in the Sierra Club keeps her out of the house at least a couple of nights per week for meetings, as well as nearly every weekend when they’re off hiking or what have you. And me? Well, I couldn’t be happier [for her].” In addition to supporting his wife’s
Above: Derek Summers’ wife Barbara out on one of her many weekend kayaking trips.
Portland, Maine – Derek Summers, husband of Barbara Summers, a recently inducted member of the Maine chapter of the Sierra Club, fully supports his wife’s involvement
in the national
out-of-doors organization, the 48-year-old construction worker told sources Saturday. “Personally, I’m not much for
trip. “I’m all for Barbara getting out of the house and enjoying herself as oſten as possible. Nothing would please me more than to one day see her out traveling the
“When Barbara goes away for
the weekend to go rock climbing on Owl Mountain, there’s a fair
the outdoors-type activities like hiking or camping, but my wife, she loves it – and as long as she’s happy and out of the house, I’m happy,” said Derek Summers, speaking from the recliner of his living room chair, where, dressed in only a t-shirt and boxers, Summers said he planned on spending the entire aſternoon drinking beer and watching television while his wife was away on a weekend kayaking
chance she won’t be coming back at all,” said Summers.
state and exploring nature every single day of the year.” Summers said his wife, 46, joined the
Sierra Club three months ago aſter years of his constant persuasion to join a group or take part in activities that would cause her to frequently be out of the house for
decision to act as treasurer of the Maine chapter of the Sierra Club – a role which requires her to be present at all area meetings, fundraisers and outings – Summers also fully encourages his wife to take part in the more dangerous outdoor activities conducted by the Sierra Club such as rock climbing and white water raſting. “Sure, when Barbara goes away for the
weekend to go rock climbing on Owl Mountain, there’s a fair chance she won’t be coming back at all,” said Summers, underscoring the danger involved in many of the Sierra Club’s excursions. “I always try to keep in mind that there’s a very good chance that instead of heading off to work on Monday morning, I could very likely be sitting down at the First Mutual office trying to get Barbara’s life insurance policy cashed in.” “I think about that a lot, actually,” added Summers.
Having been married to his wife for
almost 17 years, Summers said he tries to be understanding if his wife is unable to find a way to call and check in with him while she is away on a weekend excursion. “Barbara’s cell phone usually doesn’t get
reception out in the wilderness where they go, so I know I could very well end up going three full days without hearing from her,” said Summers, greeting his
“Nothing would please me
more than to one day see her out traveling the state and
exploring nature every single day of the year.”
poker buddies as they arrived at his house for an all-night card game. “To tell you the truth, knowing that Barbara’s probably not going to be able to call me, a lot of times I won’t even bother answering the phone for the entire weekend.”
Tennis ball uploaded to server
A page from the Recoil handbook... Protecting Your Identity
In today’s electronic-driven world, protecting your personal financial information and ATM card passwords is of extreme importance. Below are some tips for protecting your personal info:
• If you notice someone looking over your shoulder at an ATM, swiſtly elbow the person in the nose in an upward motion, plunging the nasal bone into the brain of the alleged identity thief or person who was just trying to see if you were someone he went to high school with.
• If you live in a building that has a public billboard, post your credit card receipts on it as a reminder to properly dispose of them when you have time.
• Obtain a copy of your credit report at least once every year so you can look and laugh at all of the jerkoffs who are never going to get one a single nickel out of you.
• Be a total asshole by creating a marketing campaign for your company that reveals your social security number and claims that nobody can steal your identity. Yeah, sure, we’ll just believe you because we’re all idiots.
page 56
• Don’t write your social security number on all of the bad checks you write.
• To keep telephone solicitors from asking for your social security number, bank account number or credit card number, willingly offer all three right at the beginning of the conversation.
• If you discover that your identity has been stolen and used to drain money out of your bank account, keep depositing money into the account so you can keep the thief making transactions until the police get around to tracking the thief down.
• Order a copy of your credit report at least once every single day so you can make sure nobody has stolen your identity and started ruining your credit score.
• Call the police, who you can rest assured will toil night and day to find
the person who charged $10 worth of movies on your Blockbuster account.
• Claim identity theft as a valid reason for cancelling your constantly overspending wife’s credit cards.
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