COMMUNITY Area man accused of staging own life


Mt. Union, Penn. – According to charges filed Tuesday by friends


and family members, a


Pennsylvania investment banker is accused of attempting to fake his own life, spending more than 36 years pretending to be capable of productivity and holding social relationships in an effort to make his existence look genuine. Jacob Raffield, 36, was


charged in Huntingdon County, Penn., with 87 counts of wasting people’s time and more than 200 counts of falsifying ambition by a panel of family members and acquaintances. Local associates believe Raffield purposely


clear evidence has been found to prove Raffield had intentionally staged an illusion of his own life, but suspicions remained. Tose fears were confirmed last month when


Jacob Raffield, 36, was charged in Huntingdon County, Penn., with 87 counts of wasting


Raffield’s mother discovered two months of piled- up dirty clothes and more than 30 open Cheez Whiz containers in Raffield’s apartment, where


he


people’s time and more than 200 counts of falsifying ambition.


deceived both close family members as well as lifelong friends through repeated, deliberate lies and half-truths designed to convince those around him into believing the depressed and banker was certifiably alive – which involved Raffield attending junior college, taking civil service tests, performing volunteer work, and coupling with women, so as to externally appear to have simply lived of natural causes. Family members and friends became suspicious


Above: Jacob Raffield, 36. EDITORIAL


Charlene, honey, we really need to talk, but you won’t return my calls, texts or e-mails since we had that big fight last


of Raffield’s reported life almost four years ago, when the then-construction worker failed to react emotionally when his long-time girlfriend moved out of their shared apartment. Since that time, no


had been assumed to be carrying on a life. In light of the discovery,


authorities have accused Raffieldof faking his own


life for more than 30 years, including much of his time spent in high school, where, it has been discovered, he failed to participate in any social activities, educational functions, or drug abuse. “It’s just beyond my understanding how someone


would think they could get away with anything this deceptive,” said Raffield’s friend of 15 years, Hank Graſton, of the auto salesman’s misrepresented vivacity. “I knew he wasn’t the most motivated or outgoing, but all this time I guess I held out hope he was still maintaining some kind of existence.” It is not known what awaits Raffield now that his


secret has been uncovered, but friends and family members say they will pursue the greatest possible action to see that justice is served, intending to force Raffield to get dressed on weekends and purchase a mop.


Tis relationship isn’t over until my facebook status says it’s over By Mark Sanborn


night, which ended with you kicking me out of your apartment and saying you wanted to break up with me. Now, this morning, I see you’ve gone ahead and changed your facebook profile from reading “In a relationship with Mark Sanborn” to “Single.” So apparently when you said, “I want to break up with you,” I’m worried that what you were actually saying was, “I am breaking up with you.” Yes, I know I have jealousy issues, Charlene, but I love you more than life itself. I’d rather die than see you with another man. So believe me when I say that our relationship isn’t over until my facebook status says it’s over. Maybe you truly believe our relationship


is over, but aſter everything we’ve been through during the last two years, don’t think for a second that I’m just going


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to let you throw it all away with a few impulsive mouse clicks. How could you just suddenly announce yourself to the world as being single just because we had a little fight over you e-mailing that old boyfriend of yours? I simply refuse to accept the idea that you’re just all- of-a-sudden flat-out dumping me over this. I, therefore, am at least going to be adult about this and keep my facebook status as “In a relationship with Charlene Barns” until we get a chance to sit down face-to-face and work this thing out. I for one know deep down in


Also, I’m not so blinded by my obsession


with you that I can’t recognize that you may have inadvertently clicked on “Single” when you were actually trying to temporarily change your relationship status to “It’s complicated.” Everybody makes mistakes; you probably just clicked “Single” and simply didn’t notice that it wasn’t what you meant to click. If so, you don’t worry about explaining – just switch your profile setting back to


of us are dead. One thing is certain: I will not lose you to someone else. Trust me on this one. You know me better than anyone else on Earth, but even you might not know what I’m capable of and just how far I’ll go to ensure that no one but me can ever have you. Anyway, if you’re phone is broken or


Charlene, understand that I’m hearing you loud and clear: your love for me


my heart that if you really were serious about breaking up with me just because I get insanely jealous whenever you even look at another man, you probably would have changed your status to “In an open relationship,” because you’d know how enraged and crazy that would make me. So, clearly, you still have feelings for me. Changing your relationship status on facebook is probably just your way of communicating your feelings to me. I’m sure that if facebook’s relationship window included a “Working it out” option, you no doubt would have selected that instead of “Single.” Either way, Charlene, understand that I’m hearing you loud and clear: your love for me transcends all space and time – we’re just going through a rough patch.


transcends all space and time – we’re just going through a rough patch.


“In a relationship with Mark Sanborn” and we’ll just put the whole thing behind us. Please do it quickly though, and make sure my name is in there, because if a couple of days go by and then your status reads “In a relationship,” I could misinterpret that to mean you’ve started seeing someone else – and that would devastate me. For me, Charlene, I’d sooner shoot


myself than change my facebook status to “Single.” You are the only woman for me, always and forever – thus, my facebook status will remain as “In a relationship with Charlene Barns” until one or both


something and you’re simply unable to respond to my messages, rest assured that I’ll be refreshing your facebook page about every 10 seconds until I see you’ve changed your status back to “In a relationship with Mark Sanborn.” Tat will tell me all I need to know. By now I’m sure you can tell


how important this is to me. I promise not to leave this chair, not to stop compulsively


refreshing your page until your facebook status stops indicating “Single.” I actually just called the office and quit my job today so I can spend all day every day watching your relationship status for as long as is necessary. Whatever happens, my beloved


Charlene, please know this: I will see you at least one final time before either of us move on. Cross my heart and hope to die: my facebook status will read “Widowed” before it ever reads “Single.” You’d do well to keep that in mind. Our time together will not be over until my facebook status says it’s over. Tis I can guarantee.


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