MEDIA
can feel proud of,” said White. As the editor of a back catalogue
spanning hundreds of issues, White is philosophical
about Cosmopolitan’s
longevity. “Although forty years is extremely
ancient by any conceivable standards of femininity, you’re only as old as you look,” said White. “And that makes Cosmo only as old as the heavily airbrushed, Photoshop-enhanced eighteen to twenty-three-year-old women who grace our cover each month. Tat’s very empowering.” White, however, does acknowledge
that the magazine has been dispensing its anachronistic insights to readers for some time now. “It seems like
just yesterday we published ‘Small Dogs: Not Just For Our Purses Anymore’ and ‘Anorexics: Are Tey On To Something?’ But can you believe those pieces first hit newsstands way back in 1991? Wow, time sure flies.” White believes Cosmopolitan’s staying
power stems from the fact that women – whose opinions the magazine has
PATCH from page 41 Above: Te January issue of Cosmopolitan.
Cosmopolitan celebrates 40 years of setting women’s movement back 40 years
New York, N.Y. – Cosmopolitan, the influential American lifestyle magazine, has announced its plan to spend the month of June celebrating 40 years of the magazine setting the women’s movement back 40 years through its material. “Although Cosmopolitan has been in existence since 1886, we didn’t
really
begin inflicting irreparable damage to the state of modern feminism until the mid-to-late sixties,” said Kate White, the magazine’s e di t o r-in- chief. “Prior to
that, it
was mostly a boring li t e ra r y journal. And we all know that’s not going to get your man hot under the collar!” Back when Cosmopolitan began its
as “Marrying Rich: It’s Like College For Smart Girls” and “It’s Not Really Debt – Tey’re Just Credit Cards, Silly!” With 40 years of female-centric its belt,
history under the magazine
“We didn’t really begin inflicting irreparable damage to the state of modern feminism until the mid-to-late sixties,” said White.
identity shiſt four decades ago, it was breezily setting the women’s movement back into the 1920s with articles such
page 44
has commemorated its storied legacy with an anniversary issue, available this month in 32 languages throughout 100- plus countries. Despite the common perception that Cosmopolitan is exclusively American in cultural reach, 75 percent of the nations that carry the publication are
actually
second or third world countries.
White finds such statistics heartening. “Te fact that we’re giving eighteen-
year-old girls in Equatorial New Guinea the confidence to spend their fiſty cents-a-week salary on the right kind of eyeliner… that’s something all women
the upper and lower lips using a special bonding agent that lasts up to sixteen hours, fully restricting use of the mouth and thereby preventing the patient from ‘cheating.’” Aesthetically similar to the popular
N icoD er m nicotine patch that has helped thousands of smokers kick the habit, the G o rge D e r m patch is currently available to consumers over- t h e-co un t er in select areas of Alabama, K en t uc k y , Mississippi and Tennessee – states home to 23 percent of the nation’s 59 million obese individuals. “Patients may still experience the
psychological compulsion to eat everything that isn’t nailed down, but GorgeDerm ensures that they will not be able to act on these impulses,” said David. “[GorgeDerm] is an exciting new option for people who want to lose wait but have had no luck using conventional methods such as pills, hypnosis or nicotine gum.” “Oh, and diet and exercise,” added
David. “I always forget that one.” According to consumer polls, a majority of satisfied GorgeDerm users said that
“It’s not just that she’s
becoming more and more attractive to me, but she’s
more fun to be around, too. I’ve even been helping out
not being able to open their mouths or chew and swallow a large variety of foods was key to successfully dropping the unwanted pounds. A large percentage of patients, however, reported incurring a number of side-effects including dry mouth, fatigue, difficulty breathing and, perhaps most commonly, vastly improved marital relations. “My wife and have
I
by reminding her to put her patch on every morning.”
gotten
along great since she started using the patch,” said Mark Droge, whose wife
of
nine years began using GorgeDerm in early January.
“I noticed a difference
almost immediately. It’s not just that she’s becoming more and more attractive to me, but she’s more fun to be around, too. I’ve even been helping out by reminding her to put her patch on every morning.” “Mmmmff, mmff eff ummm,” added
Droge’s wife, Kathy. “Umfff efmm mmmff.” Tough marketed primarily toward
adult women – statistically the most at- risk demographic – this breakthrough weapon in the battle of the bulge is designed to treat obese children as well.
calculatingly sculpted from a formative age – can relate to what’s in between its covers. “Whether they’re seeking fashion and
lifestyle tips, sex and dating advice, or answers to harder-hitting issues like makeup do’s and don’ts, our readers know Cosmo has all the right answers,” said White. “Trough basic sociological erosion, they’ve gradually regressed into complete reliance on our publication, and really, that’s the ultimate compliment. Girl power!” Despite Cosmopolitan’s success, White
has no plans for the magazine to rest on its laurels. “If you think about it, sixty years into
the “Cosmo [is] only as old
as the heavily airbrushed, Photoshop-enhanced
eighteen to twenty-three-
year-old women who grace our cover each month. Tat’s very empowering.”
future
we’ll be setting the women’s movement back to the year 2023, which is a full ten years
from now,”
said White. “Tat’s pretty cutting- edge.” White added:
“So when it comes
to taking all the hard-won
advances our gender has fought for and knocking a few decades off them, Cosmo is actually way ahead of its time.”
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