Extract from The Secret Diary of Adrian Mole, Aged 13 / BY SUE TOWNSEND
3 4 Thursday January 1st Bank holiday in England, Ireland, Scotland and Wales
These are my New Year’s Resolutions: 1. I will help the blind across the road. 2. I will hang my trousers up. 3. I will put the sleeves back on my records. 4. I will not start smoking. 5. I will spot squeezing my spots. 6. I will be kind to the dog. 7. I will help the poor and ignorant.
My father got the dog drunk on cherry brandy at the party last night. If the RSPCA hear about it he could get done. Eight days have gone by since Christmas Day but my mother still hasn’t worn the green lurex apron I bought her for Christmas! She will get bathcubes next year.
Just my luck, I’ve got a spot on my chin for the fi rst day of the New Year! Friday January 2nd
Bank Holiday in Scotland. Full Moon
I felt rotten today. It’s my mother’s fault for singing ‘My Way’ at two o’clock this morning at the top of the stairs. Just my luck to have a mother like her.
The dog got its own back on my father. It jumped up and knocked down his model ship, then ran into the garden with the rigging tangled to its feet. My father kept saying, ‘Three months’ work down the drain,’ over and over again.
The spot on my chin is getting bigger. It’s my mother’s fault for not knowing about vitamins.
Saturday January 3rd
I shall go mad through lack of sleep! My father has banned the dog from the house so it barked outside my window all night. Just my luck! My father shouted a swear-word at it. If he’s not careful he will get done by the police for obscene language.
