N6 Educational Psychology
CASE STUDY Read the following case study:
A mother is very upset because her 6-year-old child took money out of her teacher’s drawer. The mother tells the therapist that when the child was five years old, she took her (the mother’s) change from her purse, without permission.
She did not say anything to her child, because she thought that it was only a stage that the child was going through.
Activity 2.9 Discuss the case study under the following headings:
Did the mother do the right thing? Any other suggestions?
5.10 Masturbation
Don’t run to call your neighbourhood psychologist when your little girl rocks on her tricycle seat or your little boy puts his hands down his pants. Instead, stop and consider why this subject makes you squirm.
DESCRIPTION
Touching oneself, touching one’s private parts.
The very word “masturbation” gives many adults a deeply uncomfortable jolt, accompanied by heavy doses of guilt. If a child pulls his ear or strokes his arm, no one notices. So why do parents ignore the little boy who pulls his ear but worry and scold when he pulls his penis?
It’s either because genitals are considered bad, mysterious, or off-limits, or they believe that genital rubbing is a sure sign of psychological disturbance. Neither of these is true.
Most children play with their genitals – expect this somewhere between ages of two and six. The reason genital fondling bothers adults is that we tend to view children’s actions through adult eyes.
To a child, masturbation is a normal part of discovering these parts of his or her body and the pleasurable feelings that come from them. In exploring their bodies, babies discover that some parts feel more pleasurable than others. Once these areas are discovered, those little hands are frequently found there. To a child, massaging his or her genitals is pleasure. It is not “wrong” or “dirty.” Only if a child hears these terms from adults (or picks up on their anxiety) does he or she become worried and confused.
Because children aren’t doing anything “wrong” when they explore or stimulate their genitals, there is no need to scold, shame, humiliate or punish them.
1 When masturbation is normal
Understand that the desire to use one’s body parts for pleasure is part of normal sexual development. So the occasional genital massage is not dirty, harmful, or a signal of an underlying emotional disturbance or of problem parenting. For most kids, it’s a continuing discovery and it feels good. It’s as simple as that.
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