Module 2 • Behaviour Problems
habits,” which include thumb-sucking, nose picking, hair twisting or tugging, and teeth grinding. It's also the one most likely to continue into adulthood.
Growing up can make kids anxious, and many of these tensions and pressures are invisible to parents. If your child bites moderately (doesn't injure himself) and unconsciously (while watching television, for example), or if he tends to bite in response to specific situations (such as performances or tests), it's just his way of coping with minor stress and you have nothing to worry about.
In all likelihood, the child will eventually stop on his own, but if the nail biting goes on longer than you'd like, there are simple ways to help him quit.
2 What to do about nail biting?
• Address her anxieties. Our initial response when children do something that worries us is to try to stop the behaviour, and that's fine as a long-term goal.
But before you can do that, it's essential that you deal with the underlying causes of the behaviour and think about whether there's stress in your child's life that you need to address. If you have an idea about what might be making your child anxious – a recent move, a divorce in the family, a new school, or an upcoming test – make a special effort to talk about his worries. This is easier said than done for most children, of course, but suggesting a patently ridiculous reason for the nail biting (“I know! You're trying to sharpen your teeth!”) may help him to tell you what's really bothering him.
• Don't nag or punish. Unless your child really wants to stop biting his nails, you probably can't do much about it. Like other nervous habits, nail biting tends to be unconscious.
If your child doesn't even know he's doing it, nagging and punishing him are pretty useless strategies. Even adults have a terrible time breaking habits like this.
If the habit really bothers you, set limits. “No nail biting at the dinner table” is as reasonable a rule as “no feeding the dog from your plate”.
In general, as long as your child's not hurting himself and doesn't seem overly stressed out, your best bet is to keep his fingernails neatly trimmed, remind him to wash his hands often, and try to keep your attention focused elsewhere.
Moreover, any direct intervention on your part – such as painting nasty-tasting solutions on his fingernails – will feel like a punishment to him, whether you mean it that way or not. The less fuss he associates with the habit, the more likely he is to stop on his own when he's ready, and the more likely he is to feel comfortable asking you for help.
• Help him when he wants to stop. If your child's friends are teasing him, he may be ready to stop – and he'll need your help.
First, talk to him about the teasing and encourage him to tell you how it makes him feel. Reassure him that you love him no matter what his nails look like. Then move on to possible solutions.
Talk about breaking habits. Begin a discussion with your child about what nervous habits are and how it's possible to break them.
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