According to the Holy Qur’an, every baby born to this earth is free from sin. If God calls the infant back to Him, the soul returns to Paradise.
Islamic burials are done as swiftly as possible. Burial within the first 24 hours after death is a strict religious mandate in all Muslim cultures. In fact, if the baby dies after sunrise, a few Muslims may even prefer the burial by sunset. If the baby dies after sunset, burial before sunrise may be preferred. Traditionally, the family and friends would dig the grave and cover it. The body is usually laid on its side facing Mecca. The family may place a headstone to mark the gravesite, but customarily it may not contain any writing. In some countries, the mother of the deceased infant and the other female relatives do not attend the burial. Instead, they gather together at the mother’s home to comfort her, read from the Holy Qur’an, and pray.
Service delivery issues. The best help that healthcare providers and the hospital can give to the bereaved is releasing the body from the hospital as quickly as possible so the Islamic funeral may take place without delay. Islam does not encourage autopsies unless the cause of death was murder, poisoning or an unusual circumstance. Cremation is not allowed. The injection of artificial fluids such as embalming agents or preservatives into the body is totally forbidden.
The vignette that follows illustrates the needs of one Muslim family:
A family from Pakistan came to the United States so their 11-month old daughter could have open-heart surgery. The surgery was unsuccessful and the baby expired in the operating room. The family needed assistance in making funeral arrangements. The hospital contacted a local Muslim family that offered to help. Two days had already passed since the child had died. According to Islamic tradition, the burial was already one day too late. The parents could not understand why they had not gotten their child back. Finally, with intercession from the local Muslim family, the hospital released the body to the funeral home at the end of the second day. All the way to the funeral home, the mother uttered words of desperation and helplessness. At the funeral home, the child’s father bathed and wrapped the child in a white shroud. Meanwhile, the mother waited to see the child. When the time finally came, the mother kissed the tiny girl’s face and cried aloud, “my daughter, my daughter,” and fell to the floor. The local family went with the mother and father to the mosque to offer the prayers for the dead. In the mosque, the mother continued to cry until a Muslim woman embraced and comforted the mother. She said, “Don’t cry. This is a blessing from God. This child will pray for you until the end of your life. She will not go to Paradise without you and God will give you Paradise. Read the Qur’an and you will feel comfort.” She proceeded to get a Qur’an from a shelf in the mosque. The mother began reciting from it and within a minute or two, had begun to accept the will of God.
The death of a young child is probably the most difficult event that can occur in a par- ent’s life. All religions and cultures have found their own solutions for coming to terms with it. Muslims believe with every hardship God sends, He will also send the means to ease the burden.
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VOICES FROM THE COMMUNITY: CROSS CULTURAL EXPRESSIONS OF GRIEF AT THE LOSS OF AN INFANT
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