individual variations as well, determined in part by social status, level of education, economic status, and expectations of family and friends.
General bereavement customs. French Caribbean. Caribbean families typically have many extended family members who are not blood related. For example, in Haiti there are “yard siblings” who are the children that grew up in the same compound. There also are “baptism siblings,” the children of one’s godmother, and “arm siblings” who walk together for first commu- nion. These non-blood relatives provide a large network of kinfolk who can be con- tacted if one needs a job as well as family support.
A Haitian pediatrician who became a forensic specialist and is now a New York Medical Examiner provided some valuable insights into bereavement among Haitian families (Longchamp, 2001). She reported being greatly saddened when telling a Haitian family their baby died. Not only did the baby die, but also the family’s hopes and dreams for the family’s future. The family planned to give as much as possible to the baby. They hoped the child would get a good education and improve their financial/social situa- tion. The child’s death was the loss of the future. This is especially significant in Haiti because Haiti does not have a Social Security system, and so children have the added responsibility of helping parents in their old age.
This physician described various reactions to an infant’s death. In some cases, she said, the poor mothers would “go out of their minds,” jumping, screaming, running, and holding on to their stomachs. The loss of an infant in the Haitian culture is sometimes translated into pain in the uterus which is called Matrice in French. Mothers often say the uterus starts contracting as if they are in labor again, and this produces a very sear- ing pain. In contrast, Haitian fathers want to be in control. They do not cry openly and usually help make the arrangements for burial. However, responses vary by social class, economic level, and education. For example, the response of wealthy French-influenced families is typically more controlled.
In the Haitian culture, the family takes over when a baby dies. They understand the mother’s pain. If she is lactating, they concoct herb and root tea to suspend her lacta- tion. A head tie is also applied. A copper penny with butter or margarine rubbed on it is placed on her head to keep her from “losing her mind.” Haitians also believe the circulation is compromised by great emotion. Therefore, the mother is given strong unsweetened black coffee with oil to help circulate the blood. To calm the uterus, her waist is tied with something that has touched the dead baby, such as two diapers tied together. Family and friends gather night and day to be in the house where the death occurred. They pray and provide support to the grieving family. Friends and neighbors bring food and drink. The family and friends gather to reassure the bereaved family that they have seen death before, understand what she is going through, and will help her.
Generally, a male member of the family makes the burial arrangements. The body is bathed and dressed by a specialist who comes to the home. Because Haiti is tropical, the burial occurs within 24 hours. The mother is not allowed to go to the funeral service. The following day she can visit the grave. For nine days after burial, family and friends gather every night at home of the deceased to provide support for the family and pray. The prayers are to ensure a safe journey for the deceased into heaven.
VOICES FROM THE COMMUNITY: CROSS CULTURAL EXPRESSIONS OF GRIEF AT THE LOSS OF AN INFANT
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