your demise.” The Prophet also wept when his granddaughter died. Then the Prophet said to his followers, “This weeping is the mercy that God has placed in the hearts of his servants.”
Prophet Mohammed provided solace for bereaved families in his teachings. Mohammed teaches that the innocent children lost in this life will refuse to enter Paradise without their parents and God will admit the parents to Paradise.
In situations such as the loss of a child or infant, western parents may ask, why? or, could I have done something to prevent this? Islam teaches that when God wills something to happen, nothing can prevent it. The believer must trust in God’s wisdom. According to Islamic religious tradition, family members and close friends would offer the following condolences, “I am sorry for your loss, may God give you patience.” Though Muslims have a belief in Inshallah, family members will not easily accept the death of a child, one of the most painful experiences in life.
Grief responses to infant death may vary widely from one Muslim culture to another. In the Arab culture, parents try to show patience in the face of adversity by appearing stoic. They do not cry in public. In the Indo-Pakistani culture, parents who have lost their child are expected to weep a great deal. If they do not weep, they may be perceived as uncaring. In Bali, conventional mourning practices require the bereaved not only appear outwardly composed but also cheerful.
A Muslim also does not look at death as final. In fact, the term used for death is Intekal (crossing over to the next and eternal life). To the Muslim, death is simply the return of the soul to Him who gave it, the last stage of the journey from God to God. Parents may request that a dying infant or one who has died be turned to face the holy city of Mecca. That way, the infant may begin the journey home to God.
As soon as an infant dies, Muslim custom requires the family immediately prepare the body for burial. At that point, Muslims usually believe only family should touch it. If providers have to touch the body, they should wear gloves. The family will close the infant’s eyes, straighten the limbs and wash the body. As they are preparing the remains, they will offer prayers for the deceased. Then they wrap the body in a white shroud. After the head has been covered with the shroud, it should remain veiled. If the infant dies in a healthcare setting, providers need to allow sufficient time and privacy for these preparations and prayers to take place.
In the Islamic faith, the fetus is first considered a whole human being with body and soul at four months gestation, the time fetal movement first occurs. When a Muslim woman loses her baby by spontaneous abortion before this stage, Islamic tradition requires the fetus be washed and buried but not prayed over. Care providers should ask the mother if she wants to take the fetus with her for burial. A severely premature baby, at four to six months gestation, is treated as an adult if it gave a cry, sneezed, or coughed when delivered. The baby is washed, shrouded, buried, and prayed over since its life and death would have been verified. Any stillborn baby is treated as an adult if the mother felt the baby move. In this case, the baby would be bathed, shrouded, buried, and prayed over.
In the Islamic religion, when a baby passes away, the funeral prayers do not contain passages asking God’s forgiveness for the deceased, as is done when adults pass away.
VOICES FROM THE COMMUNITY: CROSS CULTURAL EXPRESSIONS OF GRIEF AT THE LOSS OF AN INFANT 53
THE HOLY QUR’AN GUIDES A SINCERE MUSLIM TO BEAR TROUBLE AND AFFLICTION
“And we shall undoubtedly test you with something of fear and hunger, some loss of wealth and lives and fruit. But give glad tidings to the patient, who say when afflict- ed with calamity: ‘To God we belong and to Him is our return.’ They are those upon whom is God’s blessing and mercy, and they are the ones who are guided.”
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