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THE ART OF LISTENING IS OF CRITICAL IMPORTANCE IN SUPPORTING THE BEREAVED:


“With the gift of listening comes


The gift of healing, because


Listening to the bereaved until they have said the last


Words in their hearts is healing and consoling


Someone said that it is possible to


Listen a person’s soul into existence.” Author Unknown


Earth burial is the common practice in Latino families. Cremation is rarely chosen. The main reasons for choosing it are financial hardship, difficulty in transporting the body home to their country of origin, or both. When making decisions about funeral and burial, the parents must understand the meaning of cremation. Most often the church, family, and friends contribute towards the burial and funeral expenses. In many Latino communities, parents will hold the wake in their home for at least one day before the funeral. However, having the wake in a funeral home also is acceptable.


The countries of origin, beliefs, and religious preferences determine rituals that express the mourning process. These rituals help establish a sense of stability, social support and continuity within the family. Although rituals vary within each Latino culture, wearing black or dark colors is a common way to mark luto (mourning). Luto is not only a sign of respect for the dead, but also an indication to others that a person is grieving for their loved one. During that time, the parents and immediate family usually do not play the radio, watch television, or attend movies, dances, or other social events. Middle-aged or elderly family members may observe a longer period of remembrance that lasts from months to years.


Family and friends may offer prayers for the deceased at various times. A novena (prayers for nine consecutive days) may be done, or prayers may be said once a month and then once a year. Special prayers and religious services are held on All Saints Day (November 1) and All Souls Day (November 2). Traditionally, these are days for visit- ing cemeteries. Relatives and friends bring wreaths of flowers, crosses, and other floral arrangements to decorate the graves of the dead in remembrance. Lighting candles and blessing the dead and their resting places also are important to many Latinos.


The Day of the Dead in Mexico. The remembrance of deceased ancestors and loved ones is traditional among diverse cultures around the globe. Hispanic families remem- ber the departed by telling stories about them. This is a way of helping children learn about their ancestors and how to cope with death.


Mexicans treat death with a healthy mixture of respect and irreverence. So it’s not so strange that today the Day of the Dead is considered one of Mexico’s most wondrous celebrations, merging the Spanish Catholic religion and traditions with ancient beliefs and pre-Colombian Indian culture dating as far back as 1800 B.C. However, many in the U.S. today do not understand the tradition of the “Day of the Dead.”


This is an ancient festival, though it has been transformed through the years. More than 500 years ago, when the Spanish conquistadors landed in what is now Mexico, they encountered natives practicing a ritual that seemed to mock death. It was a ritual the indigenous people had been practicing at least 4,000 years, a ritual the Spaniards would try unsuccessfully to eradicate, a ritual known as the “Day of the Dead.”


Unlike the Spaniards, who viewed death as the end of life, the Mexicans viewed it as the continuation of life. Instead of fearing death, they embraced it. To them, life was a dream and only in death did they become truly awake. Death held a significant place in the rituals of Mexico’s ancient civilization. Among the Aztecs, it was considered a bless- ing to die in childbirth, for this assured the victim a desirable destination in the afterlife. The pre-Hispanic people didn’t separate death from pain or wealth from poverty, as they did in Western cultures.


30 VOICES FROM THE COMMUNITY: CROSS CULTURAL EXPRESSIONS OF GRIEF AT THE LOSS OF AN INFANT


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