L. Hmong people tend to be humble. They usually do not want to show or express their true emotions in front of others. Often, they will say: “maybe” or “I will try” instead of giving a definite positive or negative reply. Sometimes they might say “okay” or “yes” which actually means “no”, when they feel pressured. When talking to less assimilated Hmong persons always repeat questions and allow them some time to think about their responses.
M. When it comes to decision making, it might take Hmong persons a while to come up with a response to a particular situation. Usually the father makes most of the decisions for the family. But sometimes, the male head of the immediate household may involve relatives including uncles, cousins, or even clan leaders in important decisions. Before making a decision, most Hmong elders like to receive a second opinion. This is because they do not want to be held solely accountable for what might turn out to be a wrong decision.
N. When dealing with a Hmong family, confidentiality is considered to be a very important issue. However, within the family itself, confidentiality may not be thought of as all that important. Family members share their experiences and seek support from one another.
O. When a Hmong person offers you a drink you should not simply decline it. This is considered to be impolite or rude. So as not to offend him or her, just take the drink or the offered object and hold it for awhile before placing it back on the table or a nearby surface. The same goes for offered gifts. Refrain from quickly saying “No”. Explain why the gifts cannot be accepted.
P. When entering a Hmong home during mealtime, guests will be invited to join the family in eating. Whether the guest wants to eat or not, he or she should take part in the meal. He or she does not have to eat much; taking just a bite or two will make the family happy. Otherwise, the family will stop eating and will talk to the guest until he or she has left.
Q. It is considered quite embarrassing and rude when outsiders assumingly label the members of a Hmong family as man or wife. If one does not know the family or the relationships between family members, one should ask.
R. Most traditional Hmong families do not enjoy hearing direct comments about their children, especially infants and babies. A comment such as “your child is cute” is not looked upon favorably. Hmong believe that if a bad spirit hears such comments, it might come and take the child’s soul away.
S. There are many unusual physical marks which might be found on the body of a Hmong person. These are commonly the result of a home treatment for traditional healing and health problems such as colds and headaches. These marks may involve bruises or redness from cupping, spooning, or coining on the neck, shoulder, back, chest, forearms, and forehead. Hmong also may wear unusual accessories such as red necklaces made from silver and brass, white cloths around their wrists, and red or white strings on their wrists, necks, or ankles. These accessories may be worn for health and religious purposes.
*Reprinted with permission from The Hmong Center, St Paul, MN
44
VOICES FROM THE COMMUNITY: CROSS CULTURAL EXPRESSIONS OF GRIEF AT THE LOSS OF AN INFANT
Page 1 |
Page 2 |
Page 3 |
Page 4 |
Page 5 |
Page 6 |
Page 7 |
Page 8 |
Page 9 |
Page 10 |
Page 11 |
Page 12 |
Page 13 |
Page 14 |
Page 15 |
Page 16 |
Page 17 |
Page 18 |
Page 19 |
Page 20 |
Page 21 |
Page 22 |
Page 23 |
Page 24 |
Page 25 |
Page 26 |
Page 27 |
Page 28 |
Page 29 |
Page 30 |
Page 31 |
Page 32 |
Page 33 |
Page 34 |
Page 35 |
Page 36 |
Page 37 |
Page 38 |
Page 39 |
Page 40 |
Page 41 |
Page 42 |
Page 43 |
Page 44 |
Page 45 |
Page 46 |
Page 47 |
Page 48 |
Page 49 |
Page 50 |
Page 51 |
Page 52 |
Page 53 |
Page 54 |
Page 55 |
Page 56 |
Page 57 |
Page 58 |
Page 59 |
Page 60 |
Page 61 |
Page 62 |
Page 63 |
Page 64 |
Page 65 |
Page 66 |
Page 67 |
Page 68 |
Page 69 |
Page 70 |
Page 71 |
Page 72 |
Page 73 |
Page 74 |
Page 75 |
Page 76 |
Page 77 |
Page 78 |
Page 79 |
Page 80 |
Page 81 |
Page 82 |
Page 83 |
Page 84 |
Page 85 |
Page 86 |
Page 87 |
Page 88