Class affects the ability to cope. Some of us, due to economic status or where we live, are removed from traditional familial supports and therefore struggle to bridge the gap. When we don’t exist in a nuclear family, we are even more stressed. In these cases, it is important to seek support from non-traditional sources. We can start by developing social networks and reinforcing the notion of social support, defined as caring, fellowship, love, affection, and instrumental support. Each member of the network is both open to receiving support and available to provide support when needed. This mutuality engenders feelings of self-worth and self-esteem as individuals recognize their role in the collective group.


Kavanaugh and Hershberger (2005) identified economic stressors as the theme for African American low-income parents. Many mothers felt this overall feeling of being stressed out during the pregnancy contributed to the pregnancy outcome.


Interview with a lay midwife and Akan priestess. I’ll speak of personal experience and what I’ve been told by friends and patients. From the traditional African perspective, when there is an infant death a ritual is held so that the soul does not repeat this experience in the next life. The premature death is seen as part of the spiritual cycle and God’s way of address- ing one who was not ready or in good enough health to survive in this life.


One patient, after losing two children due to congenital problems, conducted research on her own to fully understand why, because the providers were vague in their explanation. Once she understood why it was ill advised for her to try again, she then decided to look within her extended family network. She took in children of other women (not blood kin) who were having difficulty caring for them, and raised them as her own. She also created a children’s storybook, with one of her own daughters as the heroine of the story as a way to acknowledge her passing in this life.


The old folks say that when woman miscarries, it is nature’s way of handling something that went wrong. When a baby is born and appears healthy, we wait seven days before naming the child to make certain he or she is here to stay. No baby showers are held before the birth, and the mother borrows basic necessities until after the seven days. Then she can receive gifts and have the naming ceremony.


When my child died, soon after his father’s death due to critical illness, it was perceived as the father wanting the child with him. Although the hospital social worker repeatedly tried to counsel, I chose to seek solace with my community and religious advisors. I knew the child was in a good place. I had older children, and I saw this as a time to re-interpret my role as mother. So I began to teach and to work as a midwife and librarian.


Interestingly, other family members soon began to share similar stories of difficult births, miscar- riages, or early death. It was as though I had to experience one of these ordeals first-hand before being allowed into this ‘sisterhood’ or special circle. Family shared on a ‘need-to-know’ basis.


The child’s death was not spoken of freely—not as if the infant wasn’t seen as a valued mem- ber of the family, but not dwelled upon so as not to bring that energy forward and affect future generations’ outcomes.


This story is rich with information on the mother’s perspective on the life and death of her child. The importance of putting the life and death in a spiritual context is noted. The mother accepted her inability to successfully bear a child and invested her energy in helping other women’s children.


VOICES FROM THE COMMUNITY: CROSS CULTURAL EXPRESSIONS OF GRIEF AT THE LOSS OF AN INFANT 9


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