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info@eastcorkjournal.ie Health & Beauty


Back in June 2016, I went to a Nia workshop in Carraigaline...


It turned out to be


a life changing deci- sion. .Never did I think


this workshop would take me on a journey to Scotland (twice) and this year to Ger- many to learn more and explore Nia. Nia


(Non-


Impact Aerobics) is inspired by 52 move- ments from the Mar- tial arts (Taekwondo, Aikido, etc.) and the Healing arts, (Yoga, Tai chi, etc.) blended into the Dance arts (Jazz, Modern, etc.). It was created


as


an alternative to the “no pain, no gain”


attitude to fitness. Nia concentrates on body conditioning with holistic awareness through the joy of movement. All levels and abilities are ca- tered for in each class. Loose clothing and bare feet (soft shoes if preferred) plus an open mind are the only requirements. Every week there is


a different focus, e.g. bones, joints, breath, etc., Each routine has different music and moves to encourage exploration of the body and its different ways of being flexi- ble, agile, and strong.


Music and movement creates its own magic and fun. Now I would like to


share NIA with you On Monday morn- ings, starting 3rd


Sep-


tember at 9:15am in Aghada Community Hall. Also, Wednesday


evenings, starting 5th September


Classes are for 1


hour. If you would like information


more


contact me. Lal 087 7463367


How to support an anxious child


ity of them being anxious? •Are we making them


more anxious by being more anxious ourselves?


Tips for Parents with Anxious Children


by SALLY O’REILLY It’s nearly back-to-


school time as I write and parents everywhere are heaving a collective sigh of relief. However, not all parents. And certainly not all children. I work with a lot of anxious little kiddos in my practice, and this time of year can be par- ticularly challenging. In general terms, anxiety is on the up – for sure. You’ve probably noticed, certainly a lot of people are talking about it. There is a lot of speculation


around the


‘why’: •Are children more anx- ious these days? •Or are we simply more


aware of their anxiety? •Are we over-diagnosing


them because we are more anxious about the possibil-


Avoid avoidance: While it’s tempting to


avoid a place that seems to trigger your child’s anx- iety, there is a possibility (probability) that this will simply teach your child that you agree that anxie- ty should be avoided, and so ‘that place’ should be avoided – even if avoiding makes things super incon- venient. And of course, we can’t avoid school forever. So good protective inten- tions can result in fear and anxiety


getting a higher


priority than calmness and convenience. No fair! Allow anxiety: This might sound coun- terintuitive and unhelpful, but if we have ‘elimina- tion of anxiety’ as a goal, we will never achieve that goal. And this will produce even more anxiety. Anx- iety is a normal reaction


to danger, we cannot and should not try to eliminate it from our lives complete- ly! Functioning despite anxious feelings however, is an achievable goal, as is reducing the intensity of those feelings.


Set realistic goals: One very effective way


to reduce anxiety is to re- duce expectations. I don’t mean expect ‘failure’ but I do mean encourage your child to take part, rather than to win; to enjoy rath- er than to excel; to know that ‘losing’ is normal and manageable.


Children


need to know that they can make mistakes and that they can learn from them – it’s the essence of resil- ience which I spoke about in a piece here before (am happy to provide copy so feel free to ask)


Identify and acknowledge feelings: Another way to reduce


anxiety is to name the feel- ings and thoughts associat- ed with it. If you find that


your child is feeling fear you may be tempted to distract them straight away or say “This is not scary – look I can do it! It’s per- fectly safe I promise!” My suggestion is before that step, go in with “What are you scared might happen? How might that happen? How likely do you think that is? ( for older childre). This will teach them that you are willing and able to look fear in the eye and see what


it’s really made


of. In doing this, fears of- ten shrink and lose power. Magic! Explore solutions: A great next question


then is “What will we (if you want to show them you’ll help them at first) or what will you (if you’re showing them that you believe they are capable of managing this by them- selves) do if that hap- pens?” It’s very empower- ing for a kid to know that they can come up with a solution – even if in truth it is guided by you, and even if it’s seemingly nonsensi- cal to grown-up ears! It’s


Tel: 021 463 8000 • Email: info@eastcorkjournal.ie • Web: www.eastcorkjournal.ie


the process, and the belief that matters. Avoid reinforcement: If, for example, your


child is barked at by a dog, it’s easy to fall into the re- inforcement trap the next time you encounter a dog, any dog. We can say things like – “Uh oh – there’s a dog coming – are you do- ing OK? Are you scared?” In this way we uninten- tionally


give the child a


reason to be scared. They may not be scared at all – but if we imply that they should be


they will! Be-


cause they take their cues from us.


Manage your own anxiety: Which brings me to my last piece – which is often the most challenging


as


you will know well if you suffer from anxiety your- self. With every anxious little person comes an anx- ious parent – naturally. It is hard, really hard to see a little person worry and become subsumed by fear. I don’t think anyone is immune to that. And that


triggers anxiety of course. The other piece that we now know is that anxie- ty, as a behaviour, can be learned. And learned re- ally well, as easily, and as subtly as a first language. And so, if we are anx-


ious and model anxiety (unwittingly!!), our child will learn that this is how to respond to the world. This is normal and hap- pens all the time AND it can be changed. I have learned that the most help- ful thing we can do around children who are anxious, is to check if we are anx- ious and to work on that ourselves. With compas- sion, without judgement. PLEASE


don’t read


this and then use it as an excuse to take out the ‘crit- ical parent’ stick and beat yourself with it thinking “Oh NOOOO it’s all my fault!!” No, instead, give yourself a ‘loving parent’ hug, and promise yourself that you will nurture your own anxiety away either by teaching yourself tech- niques like the ones I’ve listed, or seeking advice


eastcorkjournal


from the school itself, or a professional counsellor, psychologist


or psycho-


therapist. It doesn’t mean you’ll be deep in naval gazing therapy for years (unless you want to be of course!) but it does mean you are giving yourself (and by extension your child) the opportunity to live a fuller happier and calmer life. How good does that sound??


See you again in two weeks and thanks for reading!


Sally O’Reilly is a Psy- chologist, Psychothera- pist & Clinical Supervisor in private practice in East Cork with twenty years’ full time experience. She has a special interest in working with teenagers and writes for Voiceboks. com, FamilyFriendlyHQ. com as well as her own blog


sallyoreilly.com.


For more info contact her through her site, on 0872338804 or on Twitter @psychosal.


@eastcorkjournal / #eastcorkjournal Carraig


Liath Community Centre, Midleton, at 7pm


YogaCise


GAA Hall, Rostellan. Starting


4th & 8th September


Tuesday: Chair Yoga; 10am-11.15 am Tuesday: General class; 7pm – 8.30pm Saturdays: General class; 8am - 9.30am ALL LEVELS WELCOME


(DROP IN) PACKAGES PHONE LAL 087 7463369


Thursday, 30th


August 2018


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