SHAPING YOUR FAMILY’S FUTURE rose & Miguel's Story


Rose and Miguel are the parents of a preschool-age son, Joseph, and an infant daughter, Juanita. Rose had been an elementary school teacher before her children were born, but she and Miguel decided she would stay home once they became parents. She was excited to use her teaching skills to help her own children learn and develop. When she had just one child, she and her son spent much of their day together. They would read, do art projects, and go for nature walks in the neighborhood. When Juanita was born, it became more difficult for Rose to spend long stretches of time with Joseph. Once Juanita was a bit older and had a regular nap schedule, Rose found herself conflicted about time. She would try to use the time to play with Joseph. But she also knew that the baby’s naptime was her time—a chance to grab a shower, do some laundry, or clean up the breakfast dishes. Her “free time” became the time to do all the other household chores that were tough to do with a baby in hand. Still, Rose believed the housework could wait. After all, these precious days with her children would be over too soon. When Rose was a child, her own mother Isabella was kind and loving in her own way. But Rose didn’t feel like her mother was very nurturing. Isabella often let Rose play by herself while she did the housework or made dinner or talked on the phone. She was not the kind of person to sit on the floor and play with her children. Rose vowed to be a more involved parent. After Miguel and Rose started to take Joseph to preschool, Rose wanted to help out


in her son's preschool class. Having Juanita made it tough for her to get as involved as she'd hoped to be. When the class went on field trips, Joseph begged Rose to chaperone, but she just couldn't find anyone to care for Juanita. This made Rose feel like she was failing her son. Rose also began to feel guilty over the lack of one-on-one time she had with Juanita. When Joseph was born, it was just the two of them for most of the day. Rose loved the long hours she could spend just gazing at him. But she felt like she barely had time to look at Juanita, much less gaze at her. Rose agonized over how to balance her time so that she would meet the emotional needs of both of her children. Aside from Joseph and Juanita, Rose also missed the personal time she could steal when Joseph was a baby. She longed for the days when she had time to read a book or even a magazine article. Now that she had two children, she felt like she had to give them every spare moment.


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APPENDIX C


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