SHAPING YOUR FAMILY’S FUTURE Chapter 3 3A


Spend some time alone thinking about your parents’ relationship. Keep in mind that the goal of this exercise is to recall realistic pictures of your parents’ relationship, not idealized memories or dark distortions. • Think of a time when you saw your parents working as a team. What do you remember about the way they treated each other? Was this kind of interaction common or unusual?


• Try to remember a time when you saw your parents in conflict. How did they treat each other in this situation? If you don’t remember your parents arguing, consider why that might be the case. Did they hide their conflict or avoid conflict? Why do you think they dealt with conflict the way they did?


• What family situations seemed to stress your parents? What situations seemed to bring them joy or pleasure?


• What messages did your mother give you about your father? What messages did your father give you about your mother? Do you think these messages were accurate?


Return to Chapter 3 3B


Consider the messages about conflict, emotions, and forgiveness you saw modeled in the relationships around you. Talk with your co-parent about the impact of these messages on your relationship. • How often did you see your parents argue? How would you describe the tone of their arguments?


• What messages did you take away from your parents’ conflict style?


TALK IT OVER


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