SHAPING YOUR FAMILY’S FUTURE


TALK IT OVER


• Talk about a decision you have made recently based on your basic fear or your basic desire. How would knowing more about yourself have helped you make a different decision?


• In what ways do your basic fears and desires complement or conflict with those of your co-parent?


Move back into the larger group and talk together about ideas for working through your fears and desires. Share your thoughts on where these motivators might come from and the kinds of messages you need to hear to work through them.


Return to Chapter 2 2C


Think about your family of origin and the lost messages of your childhood. You may not agree with the message suggested for your type, so don’t worry about limiting yourself to that option. Instead, spend some time thinking about where your basic fears and desires might have come from. • In what ways might your family dance have contributed to your lost message? • How did your role in the dance reinforce your basic fear and desire? • How does your lost message impact you in your relationship with your co-parent? With your friends? With your coworkers? With your family of origin?


Imagine the best relationship you could have with your family of origin. What would need to change for you and your family to move toward that kind of relationship? How can you begin to make that change?


Return to Chapter 2


45


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