SHAPING YOUR FAMILY’S FUTURE were done and what was expected?


• What are some of the events in your life that shaped your sense of yourself? • What messages did you get from your family about who you are? • How did those messages line up with the way you thought about yourself? • How has your sense of yourself changed since you became an adult? • How did your family encourage your uniqueness? How did they discourage it?


If you have the time, you might also want to share the Enneagram information in this chapter with your family members. Let them look over the questions and determine their relational pattern. Use what you’ve learned about these relational patterns to ask some additional questions about fears, desires, and lost childhood messages.


Given what you learned from and about your family, as well as yourself, indicate on the genogram two things about each individual. Indicate one overarching trait that best describes the person’s self-image. Indicate the role that person plays in your family. So, to the left of each square or circle, under the symbol for faith, write one word for self-image and below that another word for the role that person played in the family. And in the lower right-hand corner of the genogram, write “Family Rules,” and list the top 3–5 rules that governed the family’s interaction.


Chapter Insights


1. You are an individual with God-given potential, but the details of your identity—your concept of yourself, how you react to things, your desires, etc.—are colored by the dance you do with your family; that is, you are not an island.


2. By identifying your relational pattern through an Enneagram, you equip yourself to anticipate how you will behave or feel given different sets of circumstances. The labels applied to the different relational patterns, and even the relational patterns themselves, are less important than gaining insight into how you perceive and respond to the world around you.


3. Who you are as a person and your role in your family directly affect your relationship with your co-parent and your children. You can shape your family’s future to the extent that you freely choose to embrace healthy parts or reject unhealthy parts of your past


67


APPENDIX B


Page 1  |  Page 2  |  Page 3  |  Page 4  |  Page 5  |  Page 6  |  Page 7  |  Page 8  |  Page 9  |  Page 10  |  Page 11  |  Page 12  |  Page 13  |  Page 14  |  Page 15  |  Page 16  |  Page 17  |  Page 18  |  Page 19  |  Page 20  |  Page 21  |  Page 22  |  Page 23  |  Page 24  |  Page 25  |  Page 26  |  Page 27  |  Page 28  |  Page 29  |  Page 30  |  Page 31  |  Page 32  |  Page 33  |  Page 34  |  Page 35  |  Page 36  |  Page 37  |  Page 38  |  Page 39  |  Page 40  |  Page 41  |  Page 42  |  Page 43  |  Page 44  |  Page 45  |  Page 46  |  Page 47  |  Page 48  |  Page 49  |  Page 50  |  Page 51  |  Page 52  |  Page 53  |  Page 54  |  Page 55  |  Page 56  |  Page 57  |  Page 58  |  Page 59  |  Page 60  |  Page 61  |  Page 62  |  Page 63  |  Page 64  |  Page 65  |  Page 66  |  Page 67  |  Page 68  |  Page 69  |  Page 70  |  Page 71  |  Page 72  |  Page 73  |  Page 74  |  Page 75  |  Page 76  |  Page 77  |  Page 78  |  Page 79  |  Page 80  |  Page 81  |  Page 82  |  Page 83  |  Page 84  |  Page 85  |  Page 86  |  Page 87  |  Page 88  |  Page 89  |  Page 90  |  Page 91  |  Page 92  |  Page 93  |  Page 94  |  Page 95  |  Page 96  |  Page 97