SHAPING YOUR FAMILY’S FUTURE


See if you can recognize these four signs of unhealthy ways of responding to conflict in the story of Javier and Lorena. Click the button to hear their story.


Every couple will resort to some of these behaviors at some point.


Listen to Javier & Lorena’s story


When all four are present and persistent, it’s a sign that the relationship is in need of serious help. In fact, Gottman’s research suggests that if one person makes an effort to rid the relationship of these behaviors and the other person doesn’t, there is a 90 percent chance the relationship will fail.


3C •TALK IT OVER For an additional look at conflict, click the Talk It Over button.


the Power of Grace At the core of healthy patterns of conflict is the belief that you and


your co-parent are each worthy of respect, compassion, and forgiveness. Too often we let marriage become an excuse for treating our spouse in ways we would never treat our friends.


So often marriage becomes a battle of wills. We want our needs met, and we can easily slip into subtle games meant to make our spouse do what we want them to do. But true partnership involves letting go of our selfishness. It involves seeing our spouses through the lens of grace. For more about this, click the button.


SKILL-BuilDinG


3 • MAKING A MARRIAGE


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