SHAPING YOUR FAMILY’S FUTURE Chapter 2 2A


• Who is the "lead dancer" in your family of origin? How did that person get that role? • How did that person set the pace for the rest of the family? • What are the unspoken expectations in your family’s dance, of each individual and of the family as a unit?


• What roles did your family members play in this dance? Who are the leaders? The followers?


• Would the other members of your family answer these questions about roles and who was the leader differently?


• Did anyone in your family ever try to change the dance by no longer acting as was expected? What happened?


Return to Chapter 2 2B


• How well do you fit the general description of your relational pattern? • In what ways do you differ from this description? • What other relational patterns do you see in yourself? • In what ways do the various characteristics of your relational pattern help you function in a healthy way? In what ways do they keep you from functioning in a healthy way?


Look at the list of fears and desires again. If you are still unsure of your Enneagram relational pattern, these might help you zero in on one. Talk with your co-parent about the ways you find yourself acting out of the fear or desire of your relational pattern. • What is your sense about how you are motivated by the basic fear of your relational pattern? The basic desire?


44


TALK IT OVER


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