Goodbye Granddad
Poor old Granddad's passed away, cut off in his prime, He never had a day off crook - gone be- fore his time. We found him in the dunny, col- lapsed there on the seat, A startled look upon his face, his trousers around his feet, The doctor said his heart was good - fit as any trout, The Constable he had his say, 'foul play' was not ruled out. There were theories at the inquest of snakebite without trace, Of redbacks quietly creeping and death from outer space, No-one had a clue at all - the judge was in some doubt, When Dad was
called to have his say as to how it came about, 'I reckon I can clear it up,' said Dad with trembling breath, You see it's quite a story - but it could explain his Death This here exploration mob had been looking at our soil, And they reckoned that our farm was just the place for oil, So they came and put a bore down and said they'd make some trials, They drilled a hole as deep as hell, they said about three miles. Well, they never found a trace of oil and off they went, post haste, And I couldn't see a hole like that go to flamin' waste, So I moved the dunny over it - real smart move I thought, I'd never have to
dig again - I'd never be 'caught short'. The day I moved the dunny, it looked a proper sight, But I didn't dream poor Granddad would pass away that night, Now I reckon what has happened - poor Grand- dad didn't know, The dunny was re-located when that night he had to go. And you'll probably be wondering how poor Granddad did his dash-Well, he always used to hold his breath Until he heard the splash!
An Australian poem sent to Ray Hare by his brother John who spoke to the club about being sent to Australia as an evacuee.
Why isn't phonetic spelt the way it sounds? Why are there flotation devices under plane seats instead of parachutes? Why are cigarettes sold in gas/petrol stations where smoking is prohibited there? Why do fat chance and slim chance mean the same thing? Do you need a silencer if you are going to shoot a mime? Have you ever imagined a world without any hypothetical questions? How does the guy who drives the snowplough get to work? Supplied by an unknown Rotarian.
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