Mystery time!
We thought that the emails below had become so funny that we just had to print them for you all to read. Below one of our members is replying to a request for a story for our BULL. I have cut,
pasted, edited and censored parts for obvious reasons! and have entered ??? where members names are mentioned to mystify you and keep his/her identity a secret for future editions
From??? To??? In my capacity as both talent spotter and sub-editor of that famous magazine known to all within our bor- ough as The Bull I have been asked by my two - sen- ior - colleagues to request a compilation from the ap- plication of your amazing intellect leading to the imminent submission of a missive, penned from your musing thoughts, akin to anything which the nefarious members of our local Rotary group may find to be interesting, entertaining and otherwise emi- nently readable. I am asked to assure you that your efforts will be rewarded by full attribution and promi- nent siting within the next edition, which you will surely be aware is awaited with great anticipation, bated breath and sated desire in certain cases . Your industry is awaited with pleasant anticipation. From??? To??? Great stuff - I shall allocate a prime position in the BULL and await with fervent breath to another con- troversial fable from ???.Perhaps our fellow Rotar- ian ??? can explain to our members, perhaps in un- derstandable detail that old saying:- “if you look after your pennies then the pounds look after themselves” as my £1 (like others) soon & easily goes when greeted by ??? From??? To??? There seems to be an element of the missing in all this. No-one has, to my knowledge, gained any as- sent, not even one of royal persusion, from the afore- said "???". Was it nor one of my forebears, to wit, one King Richatd III, who uttered those unforgettable
words......now what were they?........................ ah, yes: "I am not in the giving vein". That is, of course, before he found that some bugger had killed his horse while he was out playing on Bosworth Field. The Taurean editors, whose judgment must be subject to dubiety in their having recently embraced an '???, may be more enthusiastic about the arcane ramblings of Factotum Maximus in the Bull than the balance of the Rotarian residue. An assiduous ear to the mutterings of the weekly covens, particularly fol- lowing each publication, should have alerted the wise. Factotum Maximus. From??? To??? Well done ??? another excellent piece which will have our readers scratching thier heads. Can you think of a heading for your piece or would you like us to !alls it up.
From??? To??? ???, Great start on the !alls up front. All you need now is to get that ??? bloke to think my email is a piece of Bull and the pair of you will have exceeded your previous rollicks. I knew that you both had completely lost it when you allowed '??? to become involved. Who was it that wrote "Apres 'Aines le del- uge"? Has not the Epic of Gilgamesh taught us noth- ing? Never mind, keeping waving and someone may realise in time that you are drowning. Nux bonus. From??? To??? I think ???‘s piece is a piece of BULL and welcome many more pieces from ??? for many future editions, I believe our readers will like them, as they always inspire me and remind me of thinking ―WELL I NEVER‖ Well I never did you ever see a sparrow push a barrow up a marrow down a ladder with its tail cocked up. Look forward to ??? providing you with another thought provoking fable, and you for- warding it to me unadulterated (at the risk of our lives) in text format that I can enter in the BULL, What would we do without an entry from ??? From??? To??? I love the 2ing and froing re. the ??? and think we should have a page dedicated to The ???. with perhaps a small picture of Shakespeare, Socrates or Plato and ???. From??? To??? Perhaps ??? would like to be a news writer for our BULL and have a special column – we could call it ??? ??? column. I feel assured our read- ers would look forward (or not) to reading it? From??? To??? From the following missive you can see that your submission of immortal words is eagerly awaited by an admiring audience, headed by our venerable team of writers, who have once again affirmed the prominent position your words will automatically attain once received, absorbed and set into immortality in that well known organ The Bull. I leave you, please, to respond with promptness, speed and all other attributes we know you to have......... From??? To???
What part of "I ain't ritin nothing" don't you lot understand?
TO BE CONTINUED……………... 38
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