Thursday, 25th
May 2017
info@eastcorkjournal.ie
33
How to Help Your Teen Through Exams
share some ‘Do and Don’t’ tips with you. They are evi- dence-based and doable, and my sincere hope is that they will help you support your teenager (or YOU if you’re the teenager).
by SALLY O’REILLY Exam time is upon us
again – ALREADY! #eek! As a parent it can be diffi- cult to watch your child go- ing through any stress – but exam stress has an extra set of flavours to it. There are fears attached to exam stress that are unique and come to- gether in a most unpleasant cocktail – the fear of failure, of their teachers’ criticism, their examiners’ criticism, of not achieving a dreamt of fu- ture, of falling behind peers. And the fear of disap- pointing you, their parents. With that in mind I thought it might be helpful to
Countdown to exams Do’s and Don’t’s: Do’s • Encourage your son/ daughter to stick to their routine (studying, sleeping, eating) – now is not the time to make big changes, to an- ything. • Suggest they use sum- mary cards to whittle down notes to key points. Some schools teach this, some don’t. I think it’s best not to make assumptions! (If they’re dyslexic it’s even bet- ter if you use yellow cards with red pen apparently). • Make sure they eat – un- fortunately, girls in particular will be thinking about their beach body for the post exam
splurge. Monitor this as best you can and be the voice that challenges the “be-thin-at- all-costs” mantra. • Encourage them to sleep.
They’ll be tempted to pull all nighters – you may have done it yourself?? (#Guilt- yAsCharged!) Understanda- ble but ineffective. We need to have slept well to be able to reproduce learned materi- al well and this fact is easi- ly forgotten or ignored by a stressed young brain! I’ll put a piece on sleep hygiene on my blog to help www.
sallyoreilly.com - should be there by the time you read this! • Get them out in the air.
This is super important – even though it might trig- ger an argument. If they complain of being too tired, explain that they may be experiencing study induced inertia. If they get out they’ll notice their energy level will come back up. It will. It might help to go with
them – have a walk, a run, a rant, a giggle! All conscious and temporary distraction is good. • Create space for them to talk if (when) they are stressed. Even if it’s not to you. Remind them to choose someone who will actually listen and be helpful. • Remind them to take a lot of breaks. • Encourage them to study at a desk if possible, not in bed, or on a couch. (I have reasons for this but am try- ing to keep it short). • This might sound odd but also encourage them to wear the same perfume/ af- tershave/ deodorant studying as when taking your exams (as above). • Teach them to visual-
ise themselves succeeding. Mental rehearsal works (yes, there’s proof of that too!)
Don’ts • Don’t let them (insofar as this is something you can
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actually control!!) over-do caffeine or vitamin supple- ments that they’re not used to just because they heard or read somewhere that they help concentration. I’m sure you heard about the recent US tragedy involving caf- feine overdose. It was most unusual event but it hap- pened, and it serves as a warning. • Warn them about study drugs that people are trying to sell off to students. All they care about is money (goes for all drugs, but I di- gress…) and we now know that the side effects can ac- tually damage cognitive per- formance. • Don’t expose them to
relatives or adults who are pressuring them (as opposed to encouraging them) to per- form well. They may well have their own regrets and are now foisting them on your child. If you’ve realised that you do this yourself it’s not too late to stop!!
• Don’t talk to your friends
who have kids in the same class before the exams if there’s a chance it will make you, and possibly as a result your child, anxious. It’s OK to avoid people now unless they’re supportive and calm- ing. (Actually, that’s always ok. That’s not just an exam tip). • Avoid chats, FB threads
and parents/students who are panicking and negative and lying about how much work their kids have done and encourage your child to do the same. (“He still hasn’t opened a BOOK!!” – you know the ones….!!) • Remind your teen to
keep having fun – So TV shows, Netflix, music, so- cialising – all the things that make them laugh or feel good, they need to keep do- ing them. And do them as a family too! Your teen re- ally needs to feel a part of something supportive now. And they need to know that even when they are craaazy with stress that you still like and want to spend time with
them. (You do, right??;)) • Limit the screen time late at night and remem- ber our brains need screen time rest for 30 mins before sleepyweepy time. Espe- cially a brain that has exams coming! Good luck to all! And
a special shout out to the Leaving Certs of Midleton College with whom I had the pleasure of working with during TY - you are fondly remembered and I wish you all that is good! Sally O’Reilly is a Psy- chologist, Psychotherapist & Clinical Supervisor in private practice in East Cork with twenty years’ full time experience. She has a spe- cial interest in working with teenagers and co-authors
TwoWiseChicks.com as well as her own website sal-
lyoreilly.com. She writes for parenting sites Voiceboks. com and FamilyFriednlyHQ. com For more info on the above or related topics con- tact her through her site, on 0872338804 or on Twitter @ psychosal.
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