This page contains a Flash digital edition of a book.
books, movies, music & more What We’re Doing Here Is A Canine Mystery.


A TV writer turned management consultant, the narrator describes himself as being a functioning alcoholic. He is about to lose his job and his wife if he can’t get his dog under control. The dog, Hola, is real, because Bad Dog, (A Love Story) by Martin Kihn (pub- lished by Pantheon Books) is a true story. The dog is also a metaphor for everything that is wrong in Martin’s world, and everything that could be so right. Hola is a 90-pound Bernese


Mountain Dog. She is beautiful and uncontrollable. Martin and his wife Gloria had so much hope for the dog. They scoured the bookstores for information on Bernese Mountain Dogs and


training them, including several books from the Monks


of New Skete. The dog found both of her humans very easy to train. Take


the critical task of housebreaking. This is the number one rea- son dogs are owner-surrendered to shelters. But Martin and Gloria had a plan (or so they thought). It consisted of running outside every time Hola so much as squinted, waiting for an hour in the cold and sleet. Giving up, after nothing happens, they head back inside, only to be treated with a grand produc- tion number followed by a “TV-ready grin” that seemed to say, “Thanks for bringing me back inside, guys; I really had to go.”


“Outside class, my relationship with Hola is changing. I’m not sure what I did before on our walks, but it


obviously didn’t involve the dog. Now, I watch her hold the city in her paws, proudly like a naval destroyer, capturing everything. Every once in a while she looks


back at me – just a glance to make sure I am still there. It breaks my heart, that glance; how often has she done it before, and I didn’t even notice?”


An excerpt from Bad Dog (A Love Story) by Martin Kihn.


“This is ridiculous. That dog can’t be trained,” said Martin. “She’s trained all right,” answered Gloria while ordering


another rug. “We trained her to go on the carpet, always in that one spot.” “How’d we do that?” asked Martin. “I don’t know. Maybe it’s because you didn’t clap that time


she went outside,” said Gloria. “I’m not going to applaud a crap,” said Martin. Gradually, they both stop working with Hola as a puppy


and she turns into a beast. The beginning of the book is actually a fast-forward to Martin and Hola driving to a dog training club to take the


44 THE NEW BARKER


Canine Good Citizen test. He tells his story with flashbacks and all of the reasons why he needed to go through training with her. Their goal is to have Hola certified as a Canine Good Citizen, ultimately bringing out the best dog she can possibly be; a good dog. Their prize will be winning back Gloria, who has already left them. Throughout their journey, which includes a dog camp in


the Green Mountains of Virginia, plenty of trainers (and priests), all-breed dog shows and obedience demonstrations, Martin has conversations with Hola. Of course, she “talks back.” This story will resonate with anyone who has gone through


training for the Canine Good Citizen certification. Remember the first time a steward from the judges table directed you and your dog into the ring and asked you to leave the treats outside the ring? Panic set in. What? We’ve been training with treats the whole time! Brutally honest about his alcoholism, Martin’s writing man-


ages to entertain while taking us through hitting rock bottom, the AA meetings, his AA sponsor who gives Martin his cat to take care of, and his ultimate recovery. Martin is so self-centered that he fails to notice some very important signs of others suf- fering around him. One of the rules of AA is to wait a year before making any


big, life-changing decisions. “But a lot of us hear that old train coming and jump off the tracks. We quit our jobs. We move away. Divorces are unfortunately common,” writes Martin. “If you want to know why you drink, just stop. Suddenly your real life appears. Envy. Failure. Disappointment.” Martin also writes that hooking up with a 12-step fellow-


ship program requires the creation of a gratitude list. But, he tells his sponsor he has nothing to be grateful for at this point. When he shoots down everything his sponsor tells him he should be grateful for, the sponsor’s response is, “I’ve got it. Your dog, Hola. You’re grateful for her.” “Hate to disagree with you,” Martin answers. “She’s a mon-


ster.” The book includes some historic information on the


Canine Good Citizen test and certification. One significant item is the fact that a pilot of the program was run in 1989 with the Upper Suncoast Dog Training Club in Clearwater, Florida. Early tests were conducted with the Tallahassee Police Department K-9 Unit, a Florida Rottweiler club, and the mixed-breed Ochlockonee River Kennel Club. The trials and tribulations of training that Martin describes,


will also resonate with anyone who can remember training their first dog.


“It amazes me how personally I am taking this dog training


thing. Each week, I am nervous for two days before class and ashamed for two days after. Hola’s failure feels like an open expression of my defects in character,” writes Martin. If it weren’t for the dog, and hoping upon all hope that she


is going to be saved, you might be wondering why read a book about such a whiney guy as the narrator? Remember that this, above all else, is a true love story.


www.TheNewBarker.com U


Page 1  |  Page 2  |  Page 3  |  Page 4  |  Page 5  |  Page 6  |  Page 7  |  Page 8  |  Page 9  |  Page 10  |  Page 11  |  Page 12  |  Page 13  |  Page 14  |  Page 15  |  Page 16  |  Page 17  |  Page 18  |  Page 19  |  Page 20  |  Page 21  |  Page 22  |  Page 23  |  Page 24  |  Page 25  |  Page 26  |  Page 27  |  Page 28  |  Page 29  |  Page 30  |  Page 31  |  Page 32  |  Page 33  |  Page 34  |  Page 35  |  Page 36  |  Page 37  |  Page 38  |  Page 39  |  Page 40  |  Page 41  |  Page 42  |  Page 43  |  Page 44  |  Page 45  |  Page 46  |  Page 47  |  Page 48  |  Page 49  |  Page 50  |  Page 51  |  Page 52  |  Page 53  |  Page 54  |  Page 55  |  Page 56  |  Page 57  |  Page 58  |  Page 59  |  Page 60  |  Page 61  |  Page 62  |  Page 63  |  Page 64  |  Page 65  |  Page 66  |  Page 67  |  Page 68  |  Page 69  |  Page 70  |  Page 71  |  Page 72  |  Page 73  |  Page 74  |  Page 75  |  Page 76  |  Page 77  |  Page 78  |  Page 79  |  Page 80  |  Page 81  |  Page 82  |  Page 83  |  Page 84  |  Page 85  |  Page 86  |  Page 87  |  Page 88  |  Page 89  |  Page 90  |  Page 91  |  Page 92  |  Page 93  |  Page 94  |  Page 95  |  Page 96  |  Page 97  |  Page 98  |  Page 99  |  Page 100  |  Page 101  |  Page 102  |  Page 103  |  Page 104  |  Page 105  |  Page 106  |  Page 107  |  Page 108  |  Page 109  |  Page 110  |  Page 111  |  Page 112