THEME 8 FACING CHALLENGES


There’s this movie scene. You know the one – the hero gets injured but manfully struggles on, refusing the help his companions know he needs. They continue, he struggles, lashes out in anger and –


*dramatic music* – he collapses. The wound is infected. People recoil. Cue boiling water and sutures.


We’re taught to ignore injury, to keep going, to not make a fuss. And we suppress the pain until the wound festers, and you get angry at yourself for getting hurt in the fi rst place. As if being human was your fault. As if the smart thing to do isn’t to treat the pain instead.


The boys who teach us to stay quiet do so because they’re in pain, and like the lantern-jawed hero we’re all supposed to be, they’re afraid to look beneath the bandage. The pain of treatment would be too great, they think, and they attack others because if they’re in pain others must be too.


Anger and fear are all we boys are allowed. Seems a bit of a raw deal.


I wouldn’t go back and talk to Younger Me, if I could. He’d have far too many questions about how I got there, for one thing, and I don’t want to be different than I am now. But I’ve watched bullies live like rats in a wheel, playing out the same patterns over and over again because they can’t admit that they’re in pain, and I’ve seen young men resolutely fi ght to hold onto the things that make them human, instead of hiding them just to fi t in with everybody else. That’s strength – the strength to speak up, for yourself and for others, the strength to be yourself, instead of what other people decide you should be. There’s no power in spending your life in retreat from yourself, and I’d rather not wait until I drop from a wound I’m pretending not to have.


I care too much for that.


Focus on ... clichés A cliché is an overused phrase or idea.


There are many sayings that people use regularly. For example, ‘It’s OK to be different’, ‘Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me’ and ‘Act your age’. The more we hear these phrases, the more they lose their meaning.


In literature, there are many clichés. For example, ‘It was all a dream’, ‘They lived happily ever after’.


Work in pairs to find some common sayings or phrases in Dave Rudden’s article. Discuss


1. Share some clichés that you know. 2. What do these clichés mean? 3. Is there any truth in them? 4. Discuss some well-known sayings that bother you and explain why they bother you. 5. Name some bullies from well-known television programmes, books and films.


6. Does seeing characters dealing with bullying in films and television shows help us to deal with the bullies in real life?


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