Female Focus
Page 25
www.female-focus.com Kids’ Playing Up? You Are Not Alone!
Many young teens move through
a
transitional period of preferring to be with friends not family. During this time they may begin to realise that parents are not perfect. The child’s adoration of parents shown in early years may well turn to disappointment. Some search for new adults to confi de in, ‘instead of parents’.
Adolescents are often quick to disagree with parents and take the opposite view on an issue, seemingly just to be different. They will often cast away hobbies or objects that link them to parents and childhood. Become rude, sarcastic and make hurtful comments deliberately to cause the parent pain. Some teenagers become inquisitive and indulge in risky behaviours such as experimenting with smoking, drugs, and sex.
It is important to the young adolescent to fi t in and not appear different from his/her peers. Conformity in behaviour and physical appearance (clothes, speech, hairstyles, etc.) becomes a priority. They may develop rigid concepts of right and wrong. Mood swings and behaviour patterns vacillate between considerable maturity and childishness. Some become secretive, refusing entrance to their room and being unwilling to compromise.
Instinctively as parents we want to protect our children but teenagers must be allowed to make mistakes and face the consequences of their mistakes; otherwise they may never become responsible adults. We may not always be around to bail them out of trouble!
Hopefully at this stage, as a parent you have been consistent in your behaviour with your child, setting house rules and clear boundaries but with room for negotiation. When saying ‘no’ you have meant no and not done a ‘U Turn’ for a quiet life. Many parents love their children so much that they fi nd it diffi cult to refuse their requests. Sensible parenting is to make sure that teenagers experience disappointment and to encourage an awareness of the need to ‘earn’ what they want.
As parents we must be aware of our children’s faults and weaknesses, not deny them.
Alexis Crabb.
Adolescence: not a child, not an adult but a challenging period in life for both children and parents. Maturation to adulthood is all about hormone balance and physical development, neither of which the child can control.
Such pretence and deception is doing the young person a great dis-service.
The greatest gifts we give our children are our love, our time and to educate them to become self-suffi cient ‘real people’, happy in their own skin. Take heart, we are not trained to be parents so we can only do our best!
Adolescence is a vast subject, if you have issues with teenagers and/or other unresolved issues telephone Alex on 652 517 949 or visit
www.counsellingcostablanca.com.
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