Thursday 9th June 2011 Liz Allen speaker on Children‟s Bereavement O
ne of the difficulties faced by the organisation is the fact that not
many people are aware of the services being offered although things are improving and they are becoming better known. A bereaved child is often the „forgotten mourner‟. A youngster facing death for the first time is discovering emotions never before experienced, and a typical reaction is „to be good‟ to be OK as they do not want to upset the other parent. Not wanting to cry in case it upsets mum is a typical response, and this „unresolved grief‟ can go on to affect a youngster in later life. There are many cases of such children becoming „young offenders‟ and turning to drugs and alcohol. The problem faced by the service was how to help these young people.
HBBSoffers 10 weeks of structured bereavement counselling using a whole variety of tactics to get children to speak about their situation. These include physical things such as stress balls and puppets which can often break the ice with an „angry 6yr. old‟.
T A
he majority of the work is done in schools, where teachers can often
pick up behavioural patterns which might flag up a problem.
fter the initial programme the service then continues with 2yrs.
of extended support. This can take the form of parties, such as the one that was attended by Santa Brian, and other informal gathering where people can meet up socially. They all know why
they are there. The „other kids‟ and parents interact, they are all in the same boat and by sharing their experiences they can learn to over- come the difficul- ties they all face.
L
iz explained how the best bit of the job was when the service
could achieve success and sees the end product in a situation where the authorities would not help as there was no „defined problem‟. Not all the cases presented fit conveniently into the „labelled boxes‟ and this is where the service comes into its own. It is rewarding when some of the parents still keep in touch long after the 2years extended service. The service also offers „emotional hand holding‟ where the youngsters can learn to understand how to cope with their grief. At the end of the riveting talk there followed an interesting Question and Answer ses- sion during which some emotional memories of childhood bereavement were re-kindled. The answer to one of the questions revealed that it costs £500 to put a child through the process and Liz took the opportunity to thank the club for a donation which was made earlier in the year.
L
iz was thanked by yours truly and the club showed its appreciation in
the time honoured way. Story provided by George & Photos by Colin 23
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