EMOTIONAL
Step 2
FACE THE REALITY Once you’ve done the first step, take a closer look at the issue and consider the worst possible outcome. “Doing this helps you face your biggest fear,” says Marisa, “and
might even make you feel less afraid. For example, if your relationship is in trouble, then splitting up may be the worst outcome. But – when you really think about it – many people move on from a split relationship into another stage of life that is even happier and more rewarding.”
Focus on a solution “People who are
most stressed in their lives are the ones who spend their time mulling over problems,” says Subodh. “They put all their energy into thinking about the problem rather than doing anything about
SING!
In the midst of all of this, of course, you’re
probably feeling anxious and a little overwhelmed. “To cope,” Marisa suggests, “Sing! And sing something that’s the complete opposite to the way you are actually feeling. A little tune that has words along the lines of, ‘I’m happy... I’m calm...’ Research shows that your mind is capable of believing whatever you choose to tell it. If you think about US marines in training, as they march they always chant something upbeat, which helps to get them through the rigours and stresses of preparing for battle. It’ll work for you too.”
it. This just magnifies the stressful situation.”
Subodh suggests focusing on the solution you want and writing down all the activities you can do to get there. “They have to be activities within your control, though,” he adds. Which means that if your son is planning on giving
HEALTH
GET SUPPORT “Let your friends and relatives know what’s happening,” suggests
Marisa. “And get a second opinion. An objective viewpoint will help you get things in perspective and throw up ideas you may not have considered.”
up uni, deciding to goad him in the hope he’ll return won’t work – his decision is beyond your control. The ideal solution is that he is happy and settled in his life, so helping him find an alternative uni course or job options will be a more constructive course of action.
Now take action If you’ve followed the previous five steps, you should be thinking more clearly, feel calmer and more able to cope with the worst scenario. So now is the time to do something. “Focus your mind on the following statement,” says Subodh,
“‘Nothing happens on its own, I have to make it happen”.’ That could mean taking a deep breath and ending a bad relationship yourself or instigating couples’ therapy. It could be deciding not to move house or starting again by looking at new properties. In the case of losing your job, it could be accepting your old role is over and making plans to find a new job, and/or restructuring your finances and preparing for a new life without work. And be brave! As you tackle this final step, Subodh suggests
you remember Confucius’ words of wisdom, “Our greatest glory is not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall.”
WWW.CANDIS.CO.UK | OCTOBER 2011 87
Step 3
Step 4
Step 5
Words Claire Williams Photos Image Source
Step 6
Page 1 |
Page 2 |
Page 3 |
Page 4 |
Page 5 |
Page 6 |
Page 7 |
Page 8 |
Page 9 |
Page 10 |
Page 11 |
Page 12 |
Page 13 |
Page 14 |
Page 15 |
Page 16 |
Page 17 |
Page 18 |
Page 19 |
Page 20 |
Page 21 |
Page 22 |
Page 23 |
Page 24 |
Page 25 |
Page 26 |
Page 27 |
Page 28 |
Page 29 |
Page 30 |
Page 31 |
Page 32 |
Page 33 |
Page 34 |
Page 35 |
Page 36 |
Page 37 |
Page 38 |
Page 39 |
Page 40 |
Page 41 |
Page 42 |
Page 43 |
Page 44 |
Page 45 |
Page 46 |
Page 47 |
Page 48 |
Page 49 |
Page 50 |
Page 51 |
Page 52 |
Page 53 |
Page 54 |
Page 55 |
Page 56 |
Page 57 |
Page 58 |
Page 59 |
Page 60 |
Page 61 |
Page 62 |
Page 63 |
Page 64 |
Page 65 |
Page 66 |
Page 67 |
Page 68 |
Page 69 |
Page 70 |
Page 71 |
Page 72 |
Page 73 |
Page 74 |
Page 75 |
Page 76 |
Page 77 |
Page 78 |
Page 79 |
Page 80 |
Page 81 |
Page 82 |
Page 83 |
Page 84 |
Page 85 |
Page 86 |
Page 87 |
Page 88 |
Page 89 |
Page 90 |
Page 91 |
Page 92 |
Page 93 |
Page 94 |
Page 95 |
Page 96 |
Page 97 |
Page 98 |
Page 99 |
Page 100 |
Page 101 |
Page 102 |
Page 103 |
Page 104 |
Page 105 |
Page 106 |
Page 107 |
Page 108 |
Page 109 |
Page 110 |
Page 111 |
Page 112 |
Page 113 |
Page 114 |
Page 115 |
Page 116 |
Page 117 |
Page 118 |
Page 119 |
Page 120 |
Page 121 |
Page 122 |
Page 123 |
Page 124 |
Page 125 |
Page 126 |
Page 127 |
Page 128 |
Page 129 |
Page 130 |
Page 131 |
Page 132 |
Page 133 |
Page 134 |
Page 135 |
Page 136 |
Page 137 |
Page 138 |
Page 139 |
Page 140 |
Page 141 |
Page 142 |
Page 143 |
Page 144 |
Page 145 |
Page 146 |
Page 147 |
Page 148 |
Page 149 |
Page 150 |
Page 151 |
Page 152 |
Page 153 |
Page 154 |
Page 155 |
Page 156 |
Page 157 |
Page 158 |
Page 159 |
Page 160 |
Page 161 |
Page 162 |
Page 163 |
Page 164