Life Aboard BY MARIANNE BARTRAM
MARIANNE LIVES ABOARD THE MV TRESHNISH ON THE RIVER DART WITH HER HUSBAND NIGEL
T
his month I have really excelled my accident prone self although I shouldn’t boast. I have endured
a painful concussion, had our latest car written off, become hopelessly lost on a walk and been bitten (hard) by a dog. First Hub found a parking space for our new car - a real triumph! ( if you live in Dartmouth you will be aware that the council does its best to make that perfectly reasonable need practically impossible.) It was dented by an unknown assailant and declared a write off. We now have an even faster car which Hub drives in a way that gives me panic attacks. Then I tripped over in the dory cracking my head on the seat resulting in a mild concussion and three days of an aching head. The sudden impact caused me to bite my cheek which bled - being anaemic, I can ill afford to lose so much as a drop. I staggered off to the library whereupon a dog rushed out from a shop and bit me. I lost even more blood but am becoming so used to it by now that I am probably an absolute magnet for vampires. so, to finally give ourselves a break, Hub pored over his book of “ ancient lanes by rivers” and suggested an hour’s gentle stroll along a river. sadly, it transpired that his book was published in 1978 which accounts for “follow the transcribed path” resulting in our having to walk, mostly uphill, for some seven hours. We ended up in a field nudged and herded by a gang of over excited bullocks and no apparent exit. Hub scouted ahead and concluded that ,strangely ,there was no way out and called the farm. No signal. Now you see this is where the exigencies of boat life serves you well. I could see another field and was determined to reach it. In our way was a deep bog, a stream, heavy undergrowth and two electrified fences topped with barbed wire. However, after five years on a boat, we were undeterred. We bent over greenery and added wood and stones as a bridge. After a little hassle - and bad language from Hub who failed to see the joke as much as me when his trousers were firmly hooked on the barbed wire and almost bared his bottom - we emerged. Hub found a gate and we limped to a local
It’s not to everybody’s tastes which I quite understand - it is,
after all a regatta and not an air show. But I cannot resist a bit or roar and thunder!
pub for a cold cider. No worse than a force nine and no harm done. Well, apart from even more blood loss and a few bruises and hiking boots that might come clean eventually if we utilise explosives. I am a little peeved that having convinced myself that I am on the point of death, surviving the above meant Hub was sufficiently tactless to state with grim satisfaction that, as he had long suspected, “It’s all in your head.” still, never mind, the regatta is due and I am looking forward to the Typhoon. It’s not to everybody’s tastes which I quite understand - it is, after all a regatta and not an air show. but I cannot resist a bit or roar and thunder! especially since I have the memory to cherish of last year when it swept in right over our boat and Hub actually ducked! I sniggered for days as I had merely sworn! You do have to have an eye for safety though with so much going on and given my accident prone month - Iife - I moaned to a local about my fall in the dory and he pointed out that these accidents happen to everybody and how he had once been saved from drowning by dint of his ankle being grabbed just in time by a Distin. They are a local family of whom it would not be an exaggeration to describe as royalty in these parts. It is due to their knowledge and experience plus a distinction of character created by
their respected pa. According to his children he would send them off in a boat and leave them to work it out for themselves! excellent upbringing. better than being adopted by the Waltons! my landlubber friends accuse us of lolling about on the deck downing gin and tonics. Au contraire. We are in constant red alert status day and night and not just for ourselves. Hub has the keys for several vessels and agency to go aboard to check batteries, bilges etc., especially after a hooley and then text the owners with his findings and reassurance that all is well. I would love to go with him - frankly just out
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