Relationship Rx: Forgiveness
& Flower Essences by Doreen R. Brennan, Ph.D.
The function of all relationships, from the perspective of Spirit, is to teach each other love and peace through forgiveness. Sounds
good, but…
How does one deal with troubled relationships, whether partner, parent/ child, co-worker, or friend? And how does one handle conflicts that arise in otherwise harmonious relationships? Answering
these questions in a
way that applies no matter what the situation or challenge, or who may be involved, requires a consistent thought system and the choice to see clearly with loving intent. Flower essences help to keep the intent in focus, allowing one to choose love above all else from a place of conscious awareness in the moment, despite what the ego’s back- talk or opposition seems to present. The principles of A Course in Miracles are one option that gives foundation to “right-minded” thinking with Spirit (Truth), as opposed to “wrong-minded” thinking with ego (illusion). Truth has the power to dissolve illusion if an unequivocal decision to see the truth is
made. Therefore, the only thing
standing between our current experience of relationship conflicts and the goal of loving, peaceful harmony with all is an unconscious desire to follow ego’s thought system to keep the illusion intact. Without discussing the metaphysics
of A Course in Miracles here, we can choose forgiveness (looking past surface
20 The Door Opener
appearances), which engages Spirit’s loving power to dissolve the illusion, and restore our inner peace. When practiced with the radical “no matter what” attitude, most people experience some version of the ego “taking off the gloves” and showing itself and its agenda which is antithetical to Spirit. The good news is that ego is illusion, and only the belief in it seems to make it real; forgiveness of each situation presented “in your face” as unloving transforms it and dissolves more of the unconscious guilt which led to the projection of the situation in the first place. It is the same unconscious guilt that engenders resistance to letting go of the conflict (need to be right; need to “punish” the other for perceived emotional pain; hanging on to resentment, etc.). The use of flower essences helps
us persevere in working through this resistance by bringing a vibrational energy of a divine virtue (love, peace, joy, compassion, gratitude, sharing, etc.) which, like turning on a light bulb, dissolves the darkness (ego, illusion). These essences are vibrational affirmations, from within the world of form, of the intention to see past the world of form, and open to the willingness to see things through the eyes of Spirit. The specific flower essence (or combination) selected resonates in a way that addresses specific emotional states of ego resistance, and helps us recognize and choose to move through a state of unforgiveness quickly. Apparent layers of ego’s complex defense against such dissolution can be undone when flower essences are used to fortify intention to align with Spirit/ Divine Mind through the choice for forgiveness. Our unloving reactions to others in relationship contain both the red flag that unforgiveness has been chosen, and the information pointing to specific flower essences which would be helpful. The good news: you can choose
again, this time surrendering guidance to Spirit, and then if needed, select appropriate flower essences to support the intention to choose love and see it differently. My favorite and most used flowers for relationship issues can be used alone or in combination: Agrimony: Where there is a pattern
of physical avoidance of, or emotional distance from, people who bring up unpleasant thoughts, emotions, or energies in us, Agrimony helps restore inner peace by allowing subconscious material to come to the surface for release (forgiveness). Specifically, it also helps address addictive behavior (work, food, alcohol, tobacco, etc.) designed to stuff down or mask the unpleasantness we’ve avoided. Beech: Criticism and intolerance (forms of mental attack) of other people indicate a judgment against them which excludes and keeps them separate, disavowing the truth of spiritual unity. Beech essence brings the vibration of inclusion and the virtue of acceptance, and the recognition that we have opted to judge, so that forgiveness can be chosen to dissolve those judgments and see past apparent differences. Holly: All forms of anger (from mild irritation or annoyance to rage) and attack are pre-emptive defenses against the truth of Love/Source/God. Holly essence helps one to feel divine love and compassion, and extend it to others with an open heart. From this higher perspective, release of all feelings of separateness is natural, and joy in unity is revealed. Willow: The illusion of having been unfairly treated, abused, or otherwise victimized is one of the seemingly most difficult ones to let go of, because of the hurt it engenders under a belief system (ego) that makes illusions seem real, and resentment justified. Others seem responsible for our suffering, and over time, blame, resentment and bitterness become an unhappy way of
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