AA
ACCRINGTON AUTOBODIES
Body & Paint Centre Unit 2, Sadler Street,
Oswaldtwistle. BB5 0HP 01254 394401
Specialists in Bumper Scrapes, Dents, Scratches, Paint & Insurance Work. 24 Hour Breakdown Recovery Available
077782 08009 Cosmetic Work
FREE NO OBLIGATION QUOTES
From £59.99 10% Off
with this advert. ( Non Trade Only)
A balanced diet is chocolate in both hands.
Quiz. All the answers can be found in these pages. 1. Who created “The Muppets.” ? 2. Who was known as “The Blockton Blockbuster.” ? 3. What was Lord Kelvin’s occupation ? 4. Which actor played “The Lone Ranger” ? 5. Of which political persuasion was Fred Kite ? 6. Who had an affair with Petronella Wyatt ? 7. Which comedian thinks The Post Office is great value ? 8. Who played Alex in the film Fatal Attraction ? 9. Who’s unofficial slogan is “ Don’t be evil” ? 10. Who refers to Law Firms as “ Intestinal Parasites” ?
12.
A good friend is someone who thinks you're a good egg even though you're slightly cracked.
Universal Laws Law of Mechanical Repair. After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch and you'll have to pee. Law of Gravity. Any tool, nut, bolt, screw, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner. Law of Probability. The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act. Law of Random Numbers. If you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal and someone always answers. Law of the Alibi. If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the very next morning you will have a flat tire.. Variation Law. If you change queues (or traffic lanes), the one you were in will always move faster than the one you are in now. Law of the Bath. When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone rings. Law of Close Encounters. The probability of meeting someone you know increases dramatically when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with. Law of the Result. When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it will. Law of Biomechanics. The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach. The Coffee Law. As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold. Law of Physical Surfaces. The chances of an open-faced jam sandwich landing face down on a floor, are directly correlated to the newness and cost of the carpet or rug. Oliver's Law of Public Speaking. A closed mouth gathers no feet. Wilson's Law of Commercial Marketing Strategy. As soon as you find a product that you really like, they will stop making it. Doctors' Law. If you don't feel well, make an appointment to go to the doctor, by the time you get there you'll feel better. But don't make an appointment, and you'll stay sick.
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