E10 OnLove NUPTIALS KEITH BURGESS


Colleen Cronin & Adam Morris


Colleen Cronin, 26, is a nurse. Adam Morris, 27, is a physician’s assistant. They live inBaltimore.


Weddingdate:Oct.23. Location: TremontGrand,Baltimore. Guests: 150.


Howtheymet: Adamhad recently moved toBaltimore, after completing graduate school inMarch2009,when he signed up for a free trial on Match.com. That trialwas all it took:He “winked” atColleen, and soon after, they went on their first date, a 10-hour visit to Gettysburg. The nextmorning, Adam askedColleen on a second date— to Rome.


Theproposal: Just sixmonths later, the couplewas inDeepCreekwithColleen’s familywhen Adamasked her to take a walk to the lake.He proposed on a dock overlooking the lake.


Thewedding: AdamandColleen picked their venue, the TremontGrand, because the hotel’sRoman-stylemarble columns and arched ceilings reminded themof their date inRome. And they gave another nod to relationship history by naming the tables after their other unconventional adventures (including skydiving).


Thehoneymoon: The newlyweds spent aweek in Antigua,where they took a helicopter ride around the island, snorkeled and kayaked before Hurricane Tomas forced themindoors.


—MichelleThomas


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ON LOVE ONLINE Join us at washingtonpost.com/onlove. Or if there’s a story you think we should know about, email us at onlove@washpost.com.


SUNDAY, DECEMBER 26, 2010


WHAT YOU’LL FIND ONLINE •Our OnLove questionnaire, which couples can fill out to be considered for coverage. •Vidoeos, photos, advice and polls


EVY MAGES FOR THE WASHINGTON POST IN SYNC:Navy Lt. Glenn Richeson was worried he’d never find a girl who could deal with a submariner’s long absences from home. But ErinMitchell could. BY ELLENMCCARTHY Lt. Glenn Richeson has always wor-


ried about theway his submarine career could shape his life on dry land. Throughout his 20s, theNaval Academy graduate regularly spent months at a timeunderwater,growingpalereachday and communicating only through spo- radic e-mails. “My biggest fear, being in the Navy, is


that I’mnot going to find someone who can deal with the deployments and the moving,” says Richeson, who grew up in Silver Spring. ByMay 2009 he stopped bothering to


look. Though he’d been in theWashing- ton areamore than three years, he knew that hewould soon be preparing to relo- cate to Connecticut to learn the systems of a new submarine. What free time he hadwas spentwith his buddies. ErinMitchell,meanwhile,was inneed


of a few more buddies. The preacher’s daughter, who had graduated from Spelman College in Atlanta before com- ingtoWashingtonfor lawschool in2007, had fallen in love with the city but was still trying to find her social footing. So she was quick to accept when a


friend of a friend invited her to a house party. Walking in,Mitchell, now 27, warmly


greeted the host,whowas hunched over his computer. “What’s up?” Richeson re- plied before dropping his head back to- ward the keyboard. Mitchell made one more attempt at


conversationbeforemovingontofriend- lier faces. WhenRicheson, 29 andshy bynature,


AMBER MAHONEY


Bree Harrison & Andy Ryback


Bree Harrison, 25, is a business analyst. Andy Ryback, 25, is an operations manager for a media production company. They live in Arlington County.


Wedding date: Nov. 13.


Location: Church of the Holy City; Decatur House,Washington. Guests: 135.


Howthey met: As children in neighboring small towns, Bree and Andy knew of each other but didn’t meet until high school. Bree’s friend had asked Andy to the school’s homecoming dance, but it was he and Bree who started dating the following year. They continued the relationship long distance through college.


The proposal: In November of last year, Andy surprised Bree with a day of treats, including a spa treatment, shopping, dinner at their favorite restaurant and an evening visit to the Washington Monument, where he proposed over hot chocolate and cupcakes.


Thewedding: Bree and Andy personalized their day with homemade touches. They crafted their own invitations, favors, table centerpieces and decor, while Andy’smomsewed the bride’s dress from a 1950s pattern and created the attendants’ bouquets and boutonnieres.


The honeymoon: The pair spent two weeks exploring London, Paris and Amsterdam.


—Michelle Thomas


approached her an hour later, he bluntly asked, “Sowho invited you here?” She stammeredananswer andleft the


party early, thinking, “He wasmean.” In truth, Richeson had been struck by Mitchell but assumed shewas dating the mutual friend she’d arrived with. Once she was gone, Richeson learned that Mitchell was single and regretted “play- ing it cool—maybe too cool.” When their mutual friend hosted a barbecueafewweekslater,Richesonwas


tempted to stay home but called to see whowas there.UponhearingthatMitch- ellwas inattendance, he hustled over. Mitchell approached him again,


thinking, This guy is not going to ignore me twice. “It was like, ‘I need to talk to this guy,’ ” she remembers. They fell into a group conversation, and when Richeson pulled up his Facebook page, Mitchell took out her BlackBerry, searched for his profile and sent a re- quest, saying, “You better add me as a


down U Street, she didn’t mind. Two nights later he kissed her after amovie. But the next day he left for amonth of


training in Hawaii. They were in touch constantly, chatting online and talking for hours on the phone. In a strangeway, Mitchellwas happy the relationshipwas progressing at a distance. “Sometimeswhenyouhavetheperson


that you’re dating in the same city it means more kissing, more physical [in- teractions]. It really gets your feelings


‘I’m more myself with him than anybody else in the world’


Erin Mitchell & Glenn Richeson


friend.” He did, and that night sent her a


message asking for her phone number. Two nights later theymet at Bar Louie, a sports bar in Chinatown. She was in a business suit, hewore jeans. “Itwaskindaawkward,”hesays.At the


endof thenight, sheleftwithout somuch as hug. “Itdidn’t feel like adate. It just felt like


we were hanging out,” she says. “There weren’t fireworks.” Still, Mitchell invited him to come


along with a group of friends who were bowling at Lucky Strike the following weekend. She was distracted and didn’t pay hima lot of attention, but felt slight- edwhen he left to bewith his friends on the other side of the alley. Mitchell texted, asking why he left. “I


wasn’t feeling the love,” hewrote back. That night she wrote a new status


update on her Facebook page: “I’mgon- nawork onshowing the love.” The next week they went out again, and when he held her hand walking


out of whack,” she says. “This was, I’m liking him as a person just based on talking to him.” Richeson’s reserve fell away asheused


the opportunity to tellMitchellwhat his life was like and what the challenges would be for someone who got involved with a submarine sailor. “We were very candid with each other,” he says. “I was upfront aboutmy fears early on.” Tohis surprise, shedidn’tbalk, evenat


the warning that he’d be moving in a year.Mitchell’s father had served at con- gregations in several states throughout her childhood, so relocating was a regu- lar part of her life. When he returned from Hawaii, the


candor remained and a friendship deep- ened as the two challenged each other with adventures such as trapeze school, jet skiing and snowboarding. The relationship seemed “effortless”


to Richeson, and by fall they were dis- cussing a permanent commitment. Mitchell had never been in a serious relationship before, but everything


about this, she says, felt natural. “I’m moremyselfwith himthan anybody else in the world, except maybe my parents. So, it’sme,” she says. “He fell in lovewith me.” Mitchell had made it clear that she


wanted premarital counseling before an engagement, so in March Richeson askedher toschedulesomesessionswith her pastor. Theymet weekly for amonth, talking


over disagreements and doing home- work assignments between sessions. “And every week it felt like our relation- ship was strengthening 10 times more,” Mitchell says. “Itwasmore of that trans- parency.” In mid-July, Richeson relocated to


Connecticut to train for his new assign- ment on the USS Alexandria. Unbe- known to Mitchell, he turned the good- bye party she’d planned for him into an engagement celebration — he proposed anhour before the event. Living long distance made them


“work even more at communication,” Mitchell says. Both know it’s a skill they’ll need when Richeson ships back out to seanext year. Plans for a spring wedding were


shelved in Septemberwhen his superior said there was no guarantee Richeson would be on land or available to ex- change vows then. They regrouped and scheduled awed-


ding for Dec. 5. The Church of the Holy Citywassoftlylitonafrozenwinternight as Mitchell’s father, the Rev. Dennis Mitchell, walked his daughter down the aisle and then presided over the ceremo- ny. After the service, their 150 guests walked two dark blocks to the couple’s reception at the Carnegie Institution for Science. “God does not play. God takes vows


seriously,” the minister warned the cou- ple at the altar. Then he customized a passage from


the book of Ruth: “Wherever you go, I will go. Where youlive, Iwill live.Where you’ll be deployed, I shall be deployed.” mccarthye@washpost.com


RELATIONSHIPS New Year’s resolutions that could bring romance “Try not to think of love as something BY ELLENMCCARTHY Yes, you’ll start eating rightandhit the


gym more in 2011, but what about your love life? We asked eight people who spend their days thinking about other people’s romances to suggest the relation- ship resolutions they’d like to see people make for the new year.


“My relationship resolution for 2011


would be for daters to stay in the moment! Don’t look back at what you’ve donewrong.Don’t think ahead—as in, Is this person the one? Just enjoy the mo- ment and enjoy the person you’re with.” — Patti Stanger, star of Bravo TV’s “Millionaire Matchmaker” reality show


“To be honest with each other. About


everything—including money.We see so many people that are hiding things from their partner, and that is always the downfall of the relationship, because nothing erodes trust faster.” —Deborah Y. Luxenberg, divorce law- yer with Luxenberg, Johnson & Dickens


that is measured in doses. Love is not a medicine for all your emotional ills. And learn to ask directly for what you want in a relationship. Keep in mind that your partner is not your parent. They can only provide what they are capable of giving, basedonwhothey areandwherethey are in life.” — Audrey Chapman, host of “The


Audrey Chapman Show” onWHUR(96.3 FM)


“Resolve to work on your emotional


intelligence in order to improve your chances for finding healthy and satisfy- ing love. This involves developing a greater awareness of what you are com- municating both verbally and nonverbal- ly to others, as well as learning to accu- rately read the messages that others are sending to you.” —Toni Coleman, dating coach


“I’d like to see people get a grip on themselves! I watch too many couples fight, disconnect and break up because our brains are instinctively wired to protect against hurt. It takes courage in


the face of potential hurt to challenge the assumptions you make about your part- ner or the world, but when you start down this path, you create possibilities where there may have been none.” —Keith Miller, couples counselor


“Start choosing not to take things personally. When someone says some- thing that’s a little off, or doesn’t return a call, or forgetssomething you said, resist the impulse to take offense. Instead, consider that there’s an explanation that doesn’t involve you at all. Even if it ultimately was a personal slight, waiting for more information allows you to act, versus react—andoften givesyoutime to put the ‘offense’ into perspective.” — Carolyn Hax, Washington Post ad-


vice columnist “People who are not in a relationship


need to resolve not to give up hope. And to go out and tell all their friends that they are looking and make themselves available to meeting new people. Those in a relationship should celebrate. But they also shouldn’t take anything for granted, and they should resolve not to


criticize one another. If there is some- thing about the relationship that needs improving, they need to discuss it. But they have to make sure the timing is right. . . . If you bring it up impulsively, you might end up doing more harm than good.” —Dr. Ruth Westheimer, sex therapist


“Don’t focus on the negative. The


most effective way to boost happiness in a basically good relationship is to focus and strengthen what is already working. That positive energymakes you feel good and motivates you to keep going in the same direction. Optimism and a positive outlook also attract others to you. And stop buying into relationship myths. Learn the realities of relationships. The biggest reason couples split up isn’t sex, conflict or lack of communication — instead, it’s frustration. Specifically, frus- tration from unrealistic expectations about love, the opposite sex and relation- ships.” — Terri Orbuch, author of “5 Simple


Steps to Take Your Marriage From Good to Great”


mccarthye@washpost.com


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