STEPHEN CLARKE ❘ HOW TO BE A PARISIAN
HOW ABOUT A DIP IN THE SEINE? On a sunny day, Stephen finds himself tempted by a refreshing swim
I
BY STEPHEN CLARKE
’ve just come home after a lunchtime picnic by the canal de l’Ourcq, the waterway that heads northeast out of Paris on its way to join up with the river of the same name. Even on the stuffiest days, the canal is a great place to stroll because it channels a cool breeze into the city. Once you get beyond the périphérique ring road, the canal de l’Ourcq is also fairly peaceful because there aren’t many boats. This watery cul de sac was originally built by Napoleon Bonaparte to bring drinking water from the countryside to the capital, at a time when many Parisians were guzzling glassfuls of the Seine – which was also the city’s main sewer. It’s therefore safe to assume that at some point, Boney’s water must have been pretty clear. Almost immediately, though, a link was dug through to the Seine, and in old photos you can see flotillas of barges moored alongside the warehouses and factories that lined the Bassin de la Villette, the canal’s main basin.
Below: The Pont Neuf; the Canal de l’Ourcq, cutting across the parc de la Villette
TALES OF THE RIVERBANK Today, the Bassin is mainly home to cafés, pétanque players and picnickers. And as I was munching my baguette au fromage de chèvre in the sun this afternoon, I thought enviously back to Napoleon’s days as I fought off the urge to dive into the cool-looking water. In summer, plenty of locals strip down and jump in, especially after a few beers. And it’s always tempting to join them – the fine for illicit wild swimming in Paris is only €15, the price of three small beers in a canalside café. That’s if a police officer sees you, and if he or she can be
bothered to fill out the forms. For me, the main deterrent, apart from the risk of swallowing some highly dubious liquid, is a story a friend told me recently. She said that a young man jumped off a canal bridge and got his leg caught in the frame of one of the many bicycles that Parisians dump in their waterways. Tragically, he didn’t make it back to the surface.
Even so, I get the same yearning to turn into a merman whenever I wander along the banks of the Seine. On a balmy summer evening, as the water laps against the walkway near the Pont Neuf, what could be more pleasant than to slide – carefully – in for a refreshing dip? Now Paris has made the urges worse by confirming its
“IN SUMMER, PLENTY OF LOCALS STRIP DOWN AND JUMP IN, ESPECIALLY AFTER A FEW BEERS. AND IT’S ALWAYS TEMPTING TO JOIN THEM”
promise that in 2024, the river will be clean enough to bathe in. Not just for the Olympic athletes competing in the 10km swimming event, which is due to start at the Pont Alexandre III, the bridge near the Petit Palais. Their bodies will be so full of adrenalin that waterborne germs won’t stand a chance anyway. No, supposedly all of us will be able to breaststroke past Notre-Dame, thanks to more than a million euros that are being invested in water treatment plants. Personally, I don’t hold out too much hope. Ex-President Jacques Chirac made the same promise when he was Mayor of Paris in 1990, and, if memory serves, he was never seen jumping off the Pont Neuf in tricolour Speedos. After all, how do you clean up a working river that runs through a capital city? And are the bateaux-mouches going to be fitted with ultra- efficient brakes to avoid bashing into bathers? No, I think that if wild swimming in Paris becomes a thing, I’ll be looking on from the bank, sipping my deliciously cool – and clean – glass of whatever my picnic host is offering. And then, when my fellow picknickers emerge from their dip in the Seine, I’ll tell them to show me their tongue before asking (jokingly, I hope), “is it meant to be that colour?”. FT
Stephen Clarke’s new novel, Merde at the Olympics, will be out in the autumn. It tells the tale of Englishman Paul West, who is working for a French group that wants to make pétanque an Olympic sport.
32 ❘ FRANCE TODAY Jun/Jul 2023
IMAGES © SHUTTERSTOCK
IMAGE © MARIE LISS
Page 1 |
Page 2 |
Page 3 |
Page 4 |
Page 5 |
Page 6 |
Page 7 |
Page 8 |
Page 9 |
Page 10 |
Page 11 |
Page 12 |
Page 13 |
Page 14 |
Page 15 |
Page 16 |
Page 17 |
Page 18 |
Page 19 |
Page 20 |
Page 21 |
Page 22 |
Page 23 |
Page 24 |
Page 25 |
Page 26 |
Page 27 |
Page 28 |
Page 29 |
Page 30 |
Page 31 |
Page 32 |
Page 33 |
Page 34 |
Page 35 |
Page 36 |
Page 37 |
Page 38 |
Page 39 |
Page 40 |
Page 41 |
Page 42 |
Page 43 |
Page 44 |
Page 45 |
Page 46 |
Page 47 |
Page 48 |
Page 49 |
Page 50 |
Page 51 |
Page 52 |
Page 53 |
Page 54 |
Page 55 |
Page 56 |
Page 57 |
Page 58 |
Page 59 |
Page 60 |
Page 61 |
Page 62 |
Page 63 |
Page 64 |
Page 65 |
Page 66 |
Page 67 |
Page 68 |
Page 69 |
Page 70 |
Page 71 |
Page 72 |
Page 73 |
Page 74 |
Page 75 |
Page 76 |
Page 77 |
Page 78 |
Page 79 |
Page 80 |
Page 81 |
Page 82 |
Page 83 |
Page 84 |
Page 85 |
Page 86 |
Page 87 |
Page 88 |
Page 89 |
Page 90 |
Page 91 |
Page 92 |
Page 93 |
Page 94 |
Page 95 |
Page 96 |
Page 97 |
Page 98 |
Page 99 |
Page 100 |
Page 101 |
Page 102 |
Page 103 |
Page 104 |
Page 105 |
Page 106 |
Page 107 |
Page 108 |
Page 109 |
Page 110 |
Page 111 |
Page 112 |
Page 113 |
Page 114 |
Page 115 |
Page 116 |
Page 117 |
Page 118 |
Page 119 |
Page 120 |
Page 121 |
Page 122 |
Page 123 |
Page 124 |
Page 125 |
Page 126 |
Page 127 |
Page 128 |
Page 129 |
Page 130 |
Page 131 |
Page 132
