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dreamer into the privileged world of the observer of yourself. Your writing will induce your day- dreams to flow out of your mind. The disagreeables will evaporate. You’ll stop chewing the cud. You’ll realize that there are many more chances for you to be successful than you assumed.


observations about the unpleasant meeting with your boss or your client will help more than denying your actual feelings or escaping through diversions like TV, alcohol, or drugs (diversions only prolong and compli- cate the digestive process). Here are seven ideas on how to im-


prove your mind management abilities: 1. Stop grinding; start preparing. You don’t have to take the drama of life passively. Prepare yourself for your meeting with your boss. Expect the worst, hope for the best. Avoid indulging in unrealis- tic expectations as you travel to your prospect.


2. Stop swallowing hard; start being assertive. You don’t have to confuse “socially ac- ceptable” behavior with the behavior of a passive and help- less child. Tell your boss what you feel you can do, and don’t hold back your ideas about an unrealistic sales forecast. Don’t let your client “snow”


you with an uptight posture or gesture. Use questions like: “You seem to be tense about this. Would you mind sharing your concerns?” You don’t need to be the “friendly buddy” of your client all the time. You’d be surprised how many more friends you can


make with a direct response to a prospect’s uptight nonverbal expression.


3. Stop the hiccups; here is now. Instead of listening to the stream of thought bubbles in your mind, take a piece of paper. Jot down the facts. Describe what happened. The physical task of writing will burst the bubbles and help you keep the problem manageable.


4. Don’t hash over; appraise reality objectively! If you do, use the same technique as described above. Start listing your negative emotions on a piece of paper. Write what you feel. For example: “I feel stupid about this call. I am a lousy sales rep. I hate this customer.” Complete the list. Then take each item and appraise your feelings realistically. Cross out each feeling as you gain per- spective on the issues.


5. Don’t ruminate; focus on what you can do. If the pencil-and-pa- per exercises above have helped you avoid the “hiccups” and the “hashing over,” you won’t go into the ruminating stage. But if you do, start writing down your day- dreams. The writing will transport you from the mental stage of the


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6. Stop re-animating the past; utilize your present potential! Reanimating the past means activating your weaknesses. You can’t become successful by trying hard to eliminate your weaknesses. You can become successful by increasing your strengths. One strength you may consider developing is accept- ing some of your weaknesses. It’s easier to say: “I accept the fact that I had problems with handling this uptight prospect. I won’t spend my energy in put- ting myself down because of this experience. I’d rather use my energy to do an outstanding job during my next call.”


7. Assimilate! The key to assimila- tion lies in the management of your experiences as they enter your mind. Avoid controlling your mind. Your need to control makes you overlook your ability to man- age. While efforts to control cause indigestion, your ability to man- age will put your mind at ease. The assimilation stage is the


ultimate challenge. It’s the stage where you absorb life experi- ences that provide you with the energy needed for self-actual- ization. The assimilation process will make you a winner without having to fight yourself.


All you need to do is facilitate the seven-phase process of digesting what’s going through your mind. It’s easily done by becoming your own best friend who helps in a firm but friendly manner. If you can commit yourself to this role, you won’t have to stop what’s going through your mind – because it will be pleasant! 


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