that we could change the way things happened by feeling guilty, then I would be in favor of guilt. I would, in fact, be giving seminars on how to feel guilty. We could all get together and collectively feel guilty about the outcome of the Peloponnesian War, and really feel terrible about the way the Athenians were treated, and we could get ourselves really upset about that. Then, at the end of about 15 minutes, we could all ask ourselves, “Now what did that do to change the outcome of that historical war?” We would all say, “Now that’s a ridiculous exercise. Why should we go around feeling bad about something that happened 5,000 years ago?” The same logic applies to some-
thing that may have happened this morning or yesterday or any other time in your life. It’s over. You can’t have it back. Learn from it. Grow from it. But to feel guilty and immobilized because of things that have hap- pened in the past is no way to be a fully functioning person. This business of being self-actual- ized is tied in with not knowing how
to feel guilty. Guilt is not a natural emotion. It is, instead, a useless emotion. Now, many psychiatrists and psycholo- gists will say it is “only natural” to feel guilty. Speaking to us on the talk shows, they tell us it is a motivator. But it is not. The guilt is immobiliz- ing, not motivating. If it is a motivator, then it is called “learning a lesson from the past.” And then going on to correct the mistake or the nega- tive behavior. But guilt means to go around hurting yourself – endlessly. Most people’s guilt revolves around
things that feel good. Somehow we’ve learned that, if it feels good, it must be bad. So anything you do that really brings you pleasure, you ought to stop doing. Now, my belief is that, if it doesn’t hurt anybody else, then it’s OK. It’s up to you to use a reality perspective to determine whether it really is hurting anyone else. And it’s up to you to determine if people are using strategies to get you to do things because they want you to. If I can get you to come over to my house by saying, “You haven’t been
SELLING TIP Don’t Let a Prospect’s “No” Threaten Your Progress
If the thought of hearing one more no makes you want to throw your hands in the air and go golfing or shop- ping for the day, you may be approaching a sales slump. At such a time, keep your momentum going and your spirits up. Surrendering to feelings of frustration and rejection when potential clients seem nonexistent can undo all the successes you have experienced – and sabotage those to come. Here are seven ways to keep moving ahead: 1. Acknowledge that you are feeling disappointed or frustrated. Talk it over with a trusted friend or col- league, then decide that you will devote no more time or energy to those feelings.
2. Develop a process orientation. Perform your job a day at a time. Continue to prospect for new clients. Ask current clients for referrals and find out about changing market conditions. What you do now will yield future results.
3. Use slow times to hone your skills in organizing, goal setting, and overcoming objections, and to refine your sales presentation and experiment with new techniques.
4. Work on projects you’ve been putting off – and finally see them through to completion. You will have a feeling of accomplishment and will maintain a positive perspective.
5. Renew your momentum with motivational materi- als, which are readily available on the market.
6. Associate yourself with leads, clubs, and profes- sional sales groups that will help you expand your network of potential clients.
7. Be open minded about exploring new markets. Being a pioneer will help you maintain a competitive edge. Keep yourself moving to help recapture the enthusi- asm you had as a new salesperson.
– LINDA A. JERRIS
SELLING POWER SEPTEMBER/OCTOBER 2023 | 11 © 2023 SELLING POWER. CALL 1-800-752-7355 FOR REPRINT PERMISSION.
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Quality is the best business plan. JOHN LASSETER
over in two whole weeks and you’re supposed to be here. How dare you not come over? If you don’t come over, you’re hurting me,” then I am just using a strategy. And I am using it because it works. But it’s amazing how fast I would drop that if it failed to work – if it failed to control your behavior. No one makes us feel guilty; we choose it for ourselves. There are only two ways to handle guilt – only two things you can do. You can stop whatever behavior you feel guilty about or you can stop telling yourself that you’re a rotten person because of whatever behavior you’re feeling guilty about. You either stop the be- havior that is producing the feelings, or you stop producing the feelings about the behavior. When you do either one or the
other, you will automatically become fully functioning and self-actualizing.
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