Self-compassion has been scientifically studied. In fact, there
is a body of literature dedicated to the study self-compassion and its benefits. Self-acceptance has been shown among other things, to improve resilience, happiness, motivation, body image and self-worth. Kristin Neff, Ph.D. has been a leader in the field of self- compassion and has done pioneering research on the subject. In her 2011 book entitled Self-Compassion, Dr. Neff writes that self-compassion is a major factor in protection from depression and anxiety. Studies have consistently shown the more self- compassionate you are, the less likely you are to suffer from anxiety and depression. Self-compassion also helps you learn from undesired or unexpected outcomes. Studies have shown self-criticism is generally detrimental in that it tends to decrease resilience, makes us experience more negative emotions, and makes us less likely to learn from our experiences.
"Our entire life consists ultimately in accepting ourselves as we are." - Jean Anouilh
What exactly is self-acceptance? Self-acceptance is not res- ignation or failure. It is also not giving up with a sense of defeat. Self-acceptance is about becoming a person who takes respon- sibility for everything in their life, whether it appears to be in their control or not. It is not however, about blame. Blaming someone else for your current condition is choosing to take on a victim role. The path of unconsciously seeing yourself as a victim leads to negative emotions like fear, anxiety, sadness, hate, and despair and predictably ends in misery.
"We always condemn most in others that which we most fear in ourselves." Robert M Pirsig. Victor Frankl eloquently described this process decades ago
when he wrote: “My definition of success is total self-acceptance. We can obtain all of the material possessions we desire quite easily, how- ever, attempting to change our deepest thoughts and learning to love ourselves is a monumental challenge. We may achieve suc- cess in our business lives but it never quite means as much if we do not feel good inside. Once we feel good about ourselves inside we can genuinely lend ourselves to others”.
Taking responsibility for everything in your life allows you to
gain control over your life. Awareness of your unconscious beliefs prevents suffering and is the first step to self-acceptance. Self- acceptance allows you to embrace all situations and events. Your surroundings and encounters function as road maps to your un- conscious mind and beliefs. Suffering becomes an option rather than an inevitability of pain.
“Understanding is the first step to acceptance, and only with acceptance can there be recovery”. – Albus Dumbledore (The Goblet of Fire by J.K. Rowling)
Written by Julius Torelli, MD, a board certified cardiologist who trained at the Cleveland Clinic. His integrative approach to car- diology includes traditional therapies as well as holistic ones. His interests are in the effects of stress and emotions on health and illness. He is the Medical Director of Natural Triad Magazine. and its effects on health. See ad on page 8.
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