All we want for is a forever Christmas
By offering a loving, stable and secure family home to vulnerable children and young people in Rotherham, foster carers like Marie and their families continue to make a difference to both the present and future lives of those who might not have had the best pasts.
Like many others, Marie had contemplated becoming a foster carer for several years, with both herself and her husband having reservations over whether they would be suitable candidates or if the practicalities of caring for looked after children would upset the apple cart with their own three children. However, after mulling it over for almost a decade, the pair finally decided to register as foster carers nine years ago, becoming short- term - or task centred - carers.
“I’d been working as a childminder for over ten years but, while I loved the kids, it wasn’t fulfilling enough for me. After we were accepted I knew we should have done it a long time ago but becoming a foster carer isn’t just a spur of the moment thing,” Marie says.
Since then, Marie and her husband have opened their home to many different children, from babies to siblings and even a teenager, each time becoming adaptable and flexible depending on the child they cared for. After two months as foster carers and having already had two respite residences, their third placement was a two-week stay for an eight-year- old girl whose relationship with her previous foster family had deteriorated; nine years later and they are still together, with the family having helped her grow from a child to a young adult. “We went from starting with the intention of only having short-term placements to becoming
family
As the season of goodwill approaches, if you’re looking towards having a good Deed-cember, why not consider providing a gift for life and give joy to those children who need it most by becoming a Rotherham foster carer.
long-term foster carers in a matter of months. Our youngest biological child was only four when they joined us so they’ve all grown up together as one family unit.”
The family is now working towards a Staying
Put arrangement where former looked after children can stay with their foster carer until they reach 21 if both parties wish to do so. Along with their long-term child, Marie and her family continued to provide respite and short-term stays, primarily for babies. As task-centred care givers, they are there to support children while any long term plans are assessed and arranged, being fully trained and equipped to deal with each child’s case.
While some children do return to their birth parents, for Marie, the majority of the babies in her care are adopted, with the family gaining the full support of Rotherham’s fostering service to go through each individual journey. “It can be hard to let go, especially those we had from birth, but it is also so rewarding to think we helped these children find their forever families.”
After seven years of babies, babies and more babies, last August, Marie and her husband had their first set of siblings come to stay with them. “People think babies are exhausting but I literally never sat down with these two. The kids were close in age, only three and four, so it was like having twins. They came with challenging behaviour, and they knew how to push each other’s buttons like most siblings do.” Removed from their birth mother at a young age, the children had already experienced so much together. “At first, we were only going to take one of them
on but I knew that we couldn’t just split them up. They were all each other had so we thought - let’s just try it first. “As much as they bickered and told tales, they were also very loving and missed each other when one was at school.” With plans for them both to be adopted together to keep the strong bond they had, Marie went through many therapeutic parenting sessions to address their behaviour, helping the children understand what was happening at an emotional and confusing time. For special bedtime stories, Marie was given books written and tailored to the children’s own story, with the characters’ experiences used to cleverly help the children see similarities in themselves. They were also given photo albums of their new parents before meeting them for the first time.
And in July, the children went to live with their forever family, with Marie having seen positive changes in the children over the short time they were with her.
“It’s finally clicking into place for me that the challenging behaviour we might experience from the children is actually because they care about us and they don’t know any other way of showing it. It has been testing at times, but I couldn’t have done it without the support of the fostering team.” In Rotherham, there are far more children needing to be looked after than foster carers to support them. Along with babies and young children, there are also a number of sibling groups of three or four children who are at risk of being split up from each other which can be unsettling and traumatic. If, like Marie, you’ve always wanted to become a foster carer, why not take those first steps today and see how you can make a difference to children’s lives.
Call Rotherham Fostering on 01709 823976 for more information.
Welcome a New Year with a New Adventure
We urgently need carers for teenagers, sibling groups and children with disabilities.
We provide a generous financial package, high quality training and comprehensive dedicated support.
Website:
www.fosteringinrotherham.org.uk Facebook: Fostering in Rotherham
If you are 21 and over and have a spare room, plus the time, energy and interest in caring for children and young people, we will support you to transform a child’s life.
Twitter: @fosterrotherham Telephone: 01709 823976
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