ANTIQUES


A Cautionary Christmas Tale


by Tom Brown, the first Chairman of Rotherham U3A


Twas the night before Christmas When all through the house J. SHAW ANTIQUES


Celebrating 50 years buying & selling antiques and fine arts


ALWAYS WANTED


any antique and retro furniture, clocks, paintings, porcelain, pottery, silver and bronze.


Bereaved homes cleared to your specification.


Free valuation on items brought in between 10am and 12 noon Saturdays.


Tel: 01709 522340 Email: sales@johnshawantiques.co.uk


I searched for the tools To hand to my spouse. Instructions were studied And we were inspired In hopes we could manage “Some assembly required.”


The children were quiet [not asleep] in their beds


While dad and I faced the evening with dread: A kitchen, two bikes, Barbie’s town house to boot! And thanks to Grandpa a train with a toot!


We opened the boxes, - my heart skipped a beat, Let no parts be missing, or parts incomplete.


Too late for last minute returns or replacements; If we can’t get it right, it goes in the basement.


When what to my worrying eyes should appear But 50 sheets of instructions, concise but not clear,


With each part numbered and every slot named So if we failed, only we could be blamed.


BBR AUCTIONS Tried Tested Trusted


Established general Antiques & Collectables sale inc.: English pottery & glass: Doulton, Rockingham, Staffs., Studio, Fulham, gold, silver, jewellery, toys & games, typewriters, cast iron fireplace, railwayana, treen, miners lamps, tins, Prattware, Advertising, Breweriana, Pharmacy.


ALL cat’d sales conducted LIVE in BBR’s saleroom


plus LIVE internet bidding via thesaleroom.com Low all inclusive comm. rates, full colour cats. ONE week preview Mon-Fri


BBR, Elsecar Heritage Centre, Nr Barnsley, S. Yorks, S74 8HJ www.onlinebbr.com e: sales@onlinebbr.com t: 01226 745156


BBR is always accepting suitable entries for auctions


Sunday 3 December ‘Winter Wonders’


More rapid than eagles the parts then fell out All over the carpet they were scattered about.


Now bolt it, now twist it, Attach it right there. Slide on the seats and staple the stair.


Hammer the shelves and nail to the stand, “Darling” said hubby “ you just glued my hand.”


And then in a twinkling, I knew for a fact That all toy dealers had indeed made a pact.


To keep parents busy on Christmas Eve night With “assembly required” until mornings first light.


We spoke not a word but kept bent at our work, Till our eyes they were bleary: our fingers all hurt.


The coffee went cold, and the night it wore thin, Before we attached the last rod and last pin.


Then laying the tools away in the chest, We fell into bed for a well-deserved rest.


But I said to my husband before I passed out, “This will be the best Christmas, without any doubt.


Tomorrow we’ll cheer, let the holiday ring, And not have to run to the store for a thing.


We did it! We did it! The toys are all set For the perfect, most perfect Christmas I bet.”


Then off of dreamland and sweet repose I gratefully went, though I suppose


There’s something to say for those self-deluded For I had forgotten that “batteries are not included.”


aroundtownmagazine.co.uk 47


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