Valentines All Year Round
Valentine’s Day is all about being ‘in love’ isn’t it? But what does ‘being in love’ really mean? Is it just about the fl owers, chocolate or perfume?
To me, being in love is all about appreciating and noticing my partner. In the fi rst throws of a romance it’s easy: you appreciate the way it feels when he takes your hand; the way she laughs or cries at daft fi lms; the way he pokes his tongue out when he concentrates. You notice the little things and fi nd them endearing.
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Over time sadly our focus shifts more to the things which irritate us, such as the way we have to ask him to take his muddy shoes off in the house at least three times before he does it, or the way she spends so much money on clothes and beauty products. When we focus on the negatives the positives get lost. Worse, we only appreciate our partner when they produce a big gift, or an extravagant display of aff ection, mainly because it’s something out of the ordinary so it shakes us out of our apathy. Florists, jewellers and gift-card suppliers capitalise on this.
I am not advocating a Valentine’s Day without cards and fl owers, (mainly because I like receiving them), but this year make a list of all the little things you love about your husband, wife or partner as well. Then every day tell them one or two small things you really appreciate about them. Yes it takes eff ort, but it will help them feel loved every day, not just on Valentine’s Day.
The poet Victor Hugo said that ‘The greatest happiness of life is the conviction that we are loved; loved for ourselves, or rather, loved in spite of ourselves.’ That surely has to be the best Valentine gift you can give anyone this year.
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