We are grateful for the following Email from Andy in response to our article about “A Billion.” "A billion seconds ago it was 1959" I think you are 19 years out of date! (A billion seconds is about 32 years) You can buy a calculator for about a quid! Regards ..... Andy How many is a billion? If you are American, it is undoubtedly
This amount is known to traditionally minded
though this word
1,000,000,000. British
people as `a thousand million', and by some more adventurous ones as a 'milliard',
has not made as much headway in English as in some other European languages. A trillion is then 1,000,000,000,000. If you are British, on the other hand, a billion may be 1,000,000,000,000 (a million million), following the older convention. If you are neither British nor American, you can take your pick! (Both systems were invented by the French, but are called 'British' and 'American' for convenience.) Thanks Andy, well spotted.
Coffee Morning at Great Harwood Library On Thursday 29th April
2010 at 10.30am Admission is free and all are welcome. "How to Feel Good Inside" – Eat well, Be Healthy with Judi McFadden
GREAT STRESS MANAGEMENT Just in case you are having a rough day, here is a stress manage- ment technique recommended in all the psychological journals. The funny thing is that it really does work and will make you smile... no matter what! 1. Picture yourself lying on your belly on a warm rock that hangs out over a crystal clear stream.. 2. Picture yourself with both your hands dangling in the cool running water. 3. Birds are sweetly singing in the cool mountain air. 4. No one knows your secret place. 5. You are in total seclusion from that hectic place called the world. 6. The soothing sound of a gentle water fall fills the air with a cascade of serenity. 7. The water is so clear that you can easily make out the face of the person you are holding underwater.
Thank you to the lady who found my key case in St Lawrence Street, Gt Harwood, and very kindly handed them in to the police station. M. H. That’s what community spirit is all about.
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TWO NUNS There were two nuns... One of them was known as Sister Mathematical (SM), and the other one was known as Sister Logical (SL). It is getting dark and they are still far away from the convent. SM: Have you noticed that a man has been following us for the past thirty-eight and a half minutes? I wonder what he wants. SL: It's logical. He wants his wicked way with us. SM: Oh, no! At this rate he will reach us in 15 minutes at the most! What can we do? SL: The only logical thing to do of course is to walk faster. SM: It's not working. SL: Of course it's not working. The man did the only logical thing. He started to walk faster, too. SM: So, what shall we do? At this rate he will reach us in one minute. SL: The only logical thing we can do is split. You go that way and I'll go this way. He cannot follow us both. So the man decided to follow Sister Logical. Sister Mathematical arrives at the convent and is worried about what has happened to Sister Logical. Then Sister Logical arrives. SM: Sister Logical ! Thank God you are here! Tell me what happened! SL : The only logical thing happened. The man couldn't follow us both, so he followed me. SM: Yes, yes! But what happened then? SL: The only logical thing happened. I started to run as fast as I could and he started to run as fast as he could. SM: And? SL: The only logical thing happened. He reached me. SM: Oh, dear! What did you do? SL: The only logical thing to do. I lifted my dress up. SM: Oh, Sister! What did the man do? SL: The only logical thing to do. He pulled down his pants. SM: Oh, no! What happened then? SL: Isn't it logical, Sister? A nun with her dress up can run faster than a man with his pants down. And for those of you who thought it would be dirty, We'll pray for you! HAVE A BLESSED DAY! & TAKE YOUR MIND OUT THE GUTTER !
As a driver I hate pedestrians and as a pedestrian I hate drivers,
but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
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