John George Phillips

Born: Apr. 11, 1887 Surrey, England . Died: Apr. 15, 1912 Newfoundland and Labrador, Canada. He was first educated at Farncombe school

and then the

old Grammar

School in Godalming Town. He moved from there to his first position in his working life at the Post Office. He became the Chief Marconi Officer on a ship which became distressed one night in the Atlantic Ocean. As the ship sank, Phillips stayed at his post sending out the signal CQD. Then, at the suggestion of the Captain he switched to the new code of SOS which had been agreed at an International Convention, so that at 12.45 am that call went out for the first time, making maritime history. Phillips went down with the ship a few days after his 25th birthday, and his body was never recovered. There is a memorial tablet to his memory in Farncombe Church where he sang in the choir. The Ship, of course, was The Titanic.

What I Want In A Man! age 21

Original List: 1. Handsome 2. Charming 3. Financially successful 4. A caring listener 5. Witty

6. In good shape 7. Dresses with style 8. Appreciates finer things 9. Full of thoughtful surprises

What I Want in a Man, Revised List (age 32)

1. Nice looking 2. Opens car doors, holds chairs 3. Has enough money for a nice dinner 4. Listens more than talks 5. Laughs at my jokes 6. Carries bags of groceries with ease 7. Owns at least one tie 8. Appreciates a good home-cooked meal 9. Remembers birthdays and anniversaries

What I Want in a Man, Revised List (age 42)

1. Not too ugly 2. Doesn't drive off until I'm in the car 3. Works steady - splurges on dinner out occasionally 4. Nods head when I'm talking 5. Usually remembers punch lines of jokes 6. Is in good enough shape to rearrange the furniture 7. Wears a shirt that covers his stomach 8. Knows not to buy champagne with screw-top lids 9. Remembers to put the toilet seat down 10. Shaves most weekends

What I Want in a Man, Revised List (age 52)

1. Keeps hair in nose and ears trimmed 2. Doesn't belch or scratch in public 3. Doesn't borrow money too often 4. Doesn't nod off to sleep when I'm venting 5. Doesn't re-tell the same joke too many times 6. Is in good enough shape to get off the couch on weekends 7. Usually wears matching socks and fresh underwear 8. Appreciates a good TV dinner 9. Remembers your name on occasions 10. Shaves some weekends

What I Want in a Man, Revised List (age 62)

1. Doesn't scare small children 2. Remembers where bathroom is 3. Doesn't require much money for upkeep 4. Only snores lightly when asleep 5. Remembers why he's laughing 6. Is in good enough shape to stand up by himself 7. Usually wears some clothes 8. Likes soft foods 9. Remembers where he left his teeth 10. Remembers that it's the weekend

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Alan Ramsbottom Way

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What I Want in a Man, Revised List (age 72)

1. Breathing. 2. Doesn't miss the toilet.

He can’t be so stupid !

I don’t know what makes him so stupid, but it really works. He has an I.Q. of two, and it takes three to grunt. He can talk to plants, on their own level. He is the world’s only surviving brain donor.

If ignorance is bliss, he must be the happiest man alive. Anything preying on his mind would starve to death. Page 1  |  Page 2  |  Page 3  |  Page 4  |  Page 5  |  Page 6  |  Page 7  |  Page 8  |  Page 9  |  Page 10  |  Page 11  |  Page 12  |  Page 13  |  Page 14  |  Page 15  |  Page 16  |  Page 17  |  Page 18  |  Page 19  |  Page 20  |  Page 21  |  Page 22  |  Page 23  |  Page 24  |  Page 25  |  Page 26  |  Page 27  |  Page 28  |  Page 29  |  Page 30  |  Page 31  |  Page 32  |  Page 33  |  Page 34  |  Page 35  |  Page 36