Dammed if you do, dammed if you don’t “Don’t toot your own horn”, “Don’t boast!”
“Hide the good things in your life so you don’t make others feel bad about their lives” “Don’t take more than your fair share”.
I used to feel shame about not having money and so I pretended I had it, believing that once I had the money, I would no longer feel ashamed.
So here I am, financially free, living the life of my dreams, with wonderful experiences, people and opportunities flowing in my life - and a part of me believes I need to hide that and pretend I don’t have all this. Perhaps I have too much good in my life. Perhaps I’ve been greedy.
Catch 22 meets One Flew Over the Cockoo’s Nest.
Please indulge me a bit here. It’s time to shed the shame around money, success and receiving all the good in our lives openly and with joy.
Time to shed the shame around: not having it; having it;
being in debt; not being in debt; not knowing how money works; and knowing how money works and making it work hard for you Being successful Not being successful Being pretty Not being pretty Having a wonderful loving relationship Not having a wonderful relationship
At a young age we connect a gambit of emotions such as feeling worthy, lovable, happy, as well as feeling guilt, shame and
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inadequacy to things outside of us. Things like money, relationships, success, intellect, or our physical appearance. We then spend our time and energy pursuing the emotions we want and running from those that make us feel bad, believing that when we are wealthy enough, successful enough, pretty enough, fit enough, clever enough those “bad” feelings will disappear and just the “nice” ones will remain.
Here’s The Doozy - The Double Bind - The Real Kicker
Our pursuit is futile. outside of us.
The solution is not
Only when we realise there is nothing we need to (or indeed can) do, create, be, or have to make us worthy; can we actually do, create, be and have all we dream of.
Doing, being, creating, having, contributing, taking, experiencing... have absolutely nothing to do with our worth. We just are!
When we can fully embrace this, when we can fully accept the truth that our worth will never come from outside of ourselves, when we de-couple our self-worth from our money, relationships, success, body shape and achievement - that is when it all starts flowing beautifully.
That is when we free ourselves to just play at this wonderful thing called life and pursue the money, relationships, success, intellect and fit healthy bodies because we can!
By Ann Wilson, The Wealth Chef sharing the recipes for wealth.
Follow her on Twitter @thewealthchef To advertise in thewire t. 07720 429 613 e.
the.wire@btinternet.com
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