Mum’s talk... by Sarah Reid
There is the fi rst child. Room temperatures are strictly controlled and the war on germs is relentless and unforgiving. Then there is another child. Intentions are good, but before you know it you’ve been caught in a howling gale with no fl eece-line polar explorer hat for the little bald head. The two-second food on the fl oor rule slips to fi ve-seconds, sometimes ten depending on who’s watching.
We call it second-child syndrome. The fi rst child for a while enjoys the luxury of being an only child. Their timetable is the timetable and the carer to infant ratio is favourable. True, they have the shock of adapting when a younger sibling comes along, but at least they’ve enjoyed that golden age at the centre of the universe.
I used to feel bad that the second child would never know such luxury, but now I’ve realised there’s a stage beyond second-child syndrome. When the older sibling starts school, it can be traumatic for the little one who’s literally left behind. There’s a short period of longing, but after that is when second-child syndrome Mark II kicks in.
The child who always – touchingly - shared food, toys and parents unquestioningly because that’s how it has always been is now getting a taste of the only child lifestyle. And she likes it.
What will I play with? Anything I want! What’s for lunch? Whatever I ask for! And no need to shout to get Mummy’s attention – she’s ALL MINE!
And it’s even worse when it’s an outing with the grandparents. What used to be the daunting prospect of a couple of pensioners
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taking two small children out for lunch has now become an exercise in conspicuous pampering. She is fretted and fussed over by her two adoring carers, and every morsel is peeled, pared and prepped for her comfort and convenience. I suspect they’d be fanning her with a palm leaf if they thought that’s what was required.
Of course it hasn’t taken her long to adapt to this kind of lifestyle. Unlike a baby, she’s experiencing this sweet nirvana when she’s old enough to appreciate it - and milk it for all it’s worth. Those original low expectations have risen and it’s certainly keeping me on my toes. Mediocrity will not cut it.
I suppose I’d better look out that fl eece-lined bonnet then.
You can follow Sarah on Twitter @sarahereid7
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the.wire@btinternet.com
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