Anna P. Fox
I
contributing writer
Love Grows Sweeter
It’s been cold, as you are probably well aware. We’ve seen abnormally low SC winter night temps lately, as well as abnormally cold SC morning bus and car duties. Thankfully, my schools are small and those lines are short! So, our menu at home has been lined up with all sorts of hot meals to warm us up. I love some good Italian inspired cuisine, so as I write this month’s article, the beginnings of what promises to be “the best lasagna ever” are simmering away on the stovetop. That’s literally what the recipe was called, “The. Best. Lasagna. Ever.” And it’s from none other than “The Pioneer Woman” so I have no doubt it will at least give other lasa- gnas a run for their money. Not to mention she uses slices of mozzarella instead of shredded, which makes spreading sauce and meat mixture in between layers much easier. Why haven’t I thought of that before?
It is, in fact, already February. And for our fourth married Valen-
tine’s Day, my husband is giving me our completed wedding al- bum. So confusing, I know since most normal folk get that done during their actual first year of marriage, as in right aſter the wed- ding. But, as it seems, we have not turned out to be normal folk in this regard. I was determined to use one of those fun online photography sites to create our own personal album on my own and I am still determined to do so. There are excuses for not having it done yet. Good ones. The
biggest one being that it takes much longer than I thought it would to narrow down the pictures, upload them all to the site of my choice, and get such an album laid out. It costs more than I thought it would too. But it’s always so much fun going through our wedding pictures, I haven’t minded the excuse to peruse through again and again! I know I’ve scrolled through at least fiſty times eliminating those that won’t make the cut. It’s hard to narrow it down from so many awesome memories. One thing that’s been interesting as I go through this process
is remembering where we were in those pictures. Not so much physically, but emotionally, spiritually, mentally… financially. So much changes in just a few years. I laugh at what I anticipat- ed as our everyday life before we made out our married budget and settled back into our everyday jobs and routines. I imagined fancy date nights much more oſten than they really occur, eating at the dining room table together every night as a couple, Valen- tine’s Days in romantic upscale venues... Reality is, those weren’t realistic expectations to have for us, the schedules we keep, and our financial needs/goals. But I love what we do instead: date nights to our local pizza joint with a redbox movie to bring home aſter, dinner on the couch aſter long days or working two jobs, and romantic Valentine’s Day dinners cooked together at home and enjoyed by candlelight at our own table, since it feels like a special occasion when we actually use it to eat. When I moved to Georgetown as Brandon’s wife, I was coming
into a place that was somewhat familiar, but it was still Bran- don’s place. I loved the excitement of starting our journey as a married couple, as Brandon’s wife, and while I did know some people, I didn’t know them well enough to have their cell num-
bers stored for random “what are you up to” conversations or texts. I’m definitely not a shy person nor am I too timid to start up a conversation with someone I want to get to know, so it’s not that it was hard to make friends. But it was a transition, during which we both had to learn and get used to full time living, to- gether and as individuals. At some point I had to pry myself away from my wonderful husband long enough to develop new friend- ships and relationships in order to establish life in this new town and become Anna Fox, not just Brandon’s wife. So many times in life our circumstances identify us. It’s so easy
when you’re involved in something that you love, or just involved in something you spend a lot of time on, for it to become part of your identity. It’s fun for a while, especially if it’s something you’re proud of. I’m a member of First Baptist. I’m a teacher at a certain school. I’m Mitchell’s daughter, Alan’s sister; I’m Bran- don’s wife. But we are all so much more than what we do or who we’re connected to. Someone shared Psalm 100:3 with me: ”Know that the Lord is God. It is He who made us, and we are His, we are His people, the sheep of His pasture.” I’m learning more and more each year that I was created by a God with a very specific purpose in mind. The same creator who knit the rest of mankind together in the womb, already knew who He wanted me to be when he created me. When I ask myself those hard questions we all have sometimes about who I am becoming or who I am supposed to become or what I’m supposed to be doing with my life, in some way, big or small, the Lord reminds me that I am His, first. I belong to Jesus and who I am in Him is my identity above all else. As a wife, I want to be the best. I want to be identified as Bran-
don’s wife because I love him, I love that title, I love serving in that role. But I don’t want to lose myself, my friends and interests and not be true to my desire to be me and who the Lord is mak- ing me. Remembering back to the “me” of just three years ago, I couldn’t wait to spend every second with my husband. Being away from each other each day for work was plenty of separa- tion time for me. I still don’t really ever want to spend much time away from him. (Don’t gag, it’s the truth, and it’s okay since we’re still only a few years married.) Don’t get me wrong either, I do
love my alone time, my girl time, etc.. But at
the top of my list of what to do in my free time is still quality time with B. Even when we argue (gasp!) I don’t want to leave or give each other space- which I have come to learn is not always the best plan of resolution- I want to keep the subject open and get it resolved so we can get back to normal. Brandon lovingly refers to my technique as “beating a dead horse.” But over time the Lord is teaching me how much sweeter and
stronger our marriage becomes when I do take that time away from my husband to remember who I am. And when I’m contin- uously pursuing my identity in Christ. My time spent away does make my heart grow fonder for him, as my Granny promised it would, but it also reminds me to pursue my other personal inter- ests so I don’t become simply, Brandon’s wife. Surprisingly, boys really don’t like to walk through fabric or
craſt stores helping us pick out burlap and ribbon or fabric for our next project. In fact, I’ve found that’s much more fun to do without him when I want to walk around and let all my creative juices flow. And I assure you, he would much rather walk through Lowe’s without me. I came to terms with that a long time ago. So, I let him. Because we all know when that lasagna comes out of the oven who’s gonna want some. And when I tell him I’m going to meet some girlfriends for dinner, he won’t even care that I’m going without him… or that I forgot to tell him that was planned for tonight. He’ll be too busy wondering how he deserves such as awesome wife that cooks so well.
18
February 2014
shemagazine.com
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