Harold & Ethel. Harold: How’s your new hearing aid dear? Ethel: It’s fantastic, apparently it’s the state of the art, latest digital technology. I know it was very expansive Harold, but it’s absolutely perfect. Harold: It doesn’t matter about the cost dear, as long as you’re happy. What kind is it ? Ethel: 'Quarter past three..'


If you are supposed to learn from your mistakes, why do some people have more than one child.


St Bartholomew & St John’s Church Young Mums Group are holding a Ladies Pamper Night on Friday 6th May from 7.30 pm onwards at Trinity Church Hall (previously known as Central Methodist) King Street, Great Harwood. There will be lots of jewellery stalls, handbags, Virgin Vie make-up, Body Shop and Avon. There will also be the opportunity to get your nails painted, have your feet massaged and generally just relax and be pampered. You can pay on the door. Entrance is £2.50 which includes refreshments. All proceeds will go towards the Huntington’s Disease Association, which is a genetic neurological disorder, and St Bartholomew & St John’s Church funds. Come along ladies and treat yourself!


Whoever coined the phrase "Quiet as a mouse" has never stepped on one.


“Solutions are not the answer.” Dan Quayle.


“A zebra does not change it’s spots.”


Al Gore.


Harwood House Glebe Street


Great Harwood


The One Stop Hair and Beauty Shop Special Offers


Full Head of Foiled HL’s £45 Including Cut


Full Head Colour £30 Including Cut


Full Set of Gel Nails £15 Spray Tans £15


All services on one level, Wheelchair friendly. Large Free Car Park Opposite.


Open 6 Days. Late Nights Thursday & Fridays Plus Other Nights by Appointment. Appointments Not Always Necessary.


Gift Vouchers Available. Long Term Promotions


20% Senior Citizen discounts Monday & Tuesday


20% off your next appointment with your first colour Hairdressing Chair to Rent £30/Week


01254 887530


www.parishairandbeauty.co.uk Behind every successful man is his woman.


Behind the fall of a successful man is usually another woman. SELL YOUR SCRAP GOLD


Don’t sit at home bored come and hit some balls Open 7 Days & Nights regardless of weather


Free Golf Lessons for juniors on Saturday Mornings Please ring for details: 01254 884222 www.lee-valley.co.uk


01254 888292 One Stop Cash Shop, 39 Queen Street, Great Harwood, BB6 7QP 3.


“I have opinions of my own, strong opinions, but I don’t always agree with them.” George Bush.


And people have voted for these men ?


But American politicians don’t


have the monopoly on strange quotations, our


footballers can give them a run for their money.


“I definitely want Brooklyn to be christened, but I don’t


know into what religion yet.” David Beckham.


But David has nothing on Kevin Keegan.


“Chile have three options,


they could win or they could lose.”


Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won't expect it back.


Page 1  |  Page 2  |  Page 3  |  Page 4  |  Page 5  |  Page 6  |  Page 7  |  Page 8  |  Page 9  |  Page 10  |  Page 11  |  Page 12  |  Page 13  |  Page 14  |  Page 15  |  Page 16  |  Page 17  |  Page 18  |  Page 19  |  Page 20  |  Page 21  |  Page 22  |  Page 23  |  Page 24  |  Page 25  |  Page 26  |  Page 27  |  Page 28  |  Page 29  |  Page 30  |  Page 31  |  Page 32  |  Page 33  |  Page 34  |  Page 35  |  Page 36  |  Page 37  |  Page 38  |  Page 39  |  Page 40