6. Jason Donovan
With the Masters at Augusta last month, where we saw a dramatic and painfully unfortunate last round collapse by the young Rory Mcllroy ……… the golf season is now in full swing. So we thought it was a good time for a little golfing story. The Dead Parrot. At dawn the telephone rings, "Hello, Senor Rod? This is Ernesto, the caretaker at your country house." "Ah yes, Ernesto. What can I do for you? Is there a problem?" "Um, I am just calling to advise you, Senor Rod, that your parrot, he is dead." "My parrot? Dead? The one that won the International competition?"
"Si, Senor, that's the one."
"Damn! That's a pity! I spent a small fortune on that bird. What did he die from?" "From eating the rotten meat, Senor Rod." "Rotten meat? Who the hell fed him rotten meat?" "Nobody, Senor. He ate the meat of the dead horse. " "Dead horse? What dead horse?" "The thoroughbred, Senor Rod." "My prize thoroughbred is dead?" "Yes, Senor Rod, he died from all that work pulling the water cart."
"Are you insane? What water cart?" 22.
"The one we used to put out the fire, Senor." "Good Lord! What fire are you talking about, man?" "The one at your house, Senor! A candle fell and the curtains caught fire." "What the hell? Are you saying that my mansion is destroyed because of a candle?!" "Yes, Senor Rod." "But there's electricity at the house! What was the candle for?" "For the funeral, Senor Rod." "WHAT BL**DY FUNERAL??!!" "Your wife's, Senor Rod". She showed up very late one night and I thought she was a thief, so I hit her with your new Ping G15 204g titanium head golf club with the TFC 149D graphite shaft." SILENCE........... LONG
SILENCE.........VERY LONG SILENCE. "Ernesto, if you broke that driver, YOU ARE DEAD !"
I didn't fight my way to the top of the food chain to be a vegetarian.
2008(08) Audi A3 1.6 Special Edition. 5 drs Met Silver 2004(56) BMW 5 Series 530D SE SDR Grey, Auto, Diesel 2009(09) Ford Fiesta 1.4 Titanium, 3 Drs Met Red, 2009(09) Ford Fiesta 1.6 Titanium, 5 Drs Met Grey, Petrol 2006(06) Ford Ka 1.3i Collection. 3 Drs Met Black, Petrol 2008(58) Jaguar XF 2.7d Luxury. 4 Drs Met Silver, Diesel 1992(J) Mercedes-Benz 300 SL-24 Convertible. 2 Dr Red,
£9,991 £10,991
Petrol £8,991 £9,991 £3,491
£22,991 £3,991
2007(57) Mercedes-Benze S329 CDi, 4 Dr Met Silver, Dies’ £24,991 2007(07) Peugeot 107 1.0 Urban, 5 Drs Black, Petrol 2002(02) Peugeot 406 2.0 SE, Coupe, Auto 2 Dr Red, 2003(03)Porsche Boxster 2.7 2 Dr Met Green, Convertible 2008(08)Range Rover 3.6 TDV8 Vogue, 4 Drs Met Grey, 2007(07)Renault Modus 1.6 Dynamique, 5 Drs Met Blue
2003(52)Rover 75 2.0 CDT Classic SE, 4 Dr Met Red, Dies@ £1,991 2002(02)Skoda Octavia 1.8T Elegance 4x4, 5 Drs Met Grey 2000(x)Vauxhall Astra 1.6 Merit, 5 Drs Met Green, Petrol 2007(56)Volkswagen Phaeton 3.0 V6 TDi 4drs Met Silver 2006(56)Volkswagen Polo 1.2 S 55, 3 Drs, Metallic Black
£4,991 £2,691
£11,991 £33,991 £5,991
£2,991 £1,991
£15,491 £5,791
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