If there were 11 elves, and another one came along, what would he be?


The twelf


Have you ever played—“Guess The Christmas Present?”


Santa Clause asking directions,”Do you know the Accrington turn off?” Man in Street, “Know her, I married her.”


For Christmas I bought my auntie, a brand new wooden leg, I didn't have it specially made, I bought it off the peg. You might say it's not a nice gift, you might think it wouldn’t thrill ‘er,


but it wasn't her main present, it was just a stocking filler.


Father Chr istmas' sledge broke down on Christmas Eve. He flagged down a passing motorist and asked, 'Can you help me fix my sledge?' 'Sorry,' said the driver. 'I'm not a mechanic - I'm a chiropodist.


''Well, can you give me a toe?'


5.


1. Step into Christmas. Elton John.


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