Jeremy Clark
Have a nice day! Jeremy Clark ponders the difficulty some agencies have with Hospitality. email:
clarkjeremy@hotmail.co.uk
Scene One: Icy drizzle sweeps onto the sodden runways across JFK falling from gloomy, leaden skies. Spray balloons into the air
behind my Boeing 777 as it touches down and trundles solemnly to the gate. We file like dishevelled refugees to the immigration hall and wait in line. Welcome To The United States says the sign. I shuffle up to the counter. “What’s the purpose of your visit?” mumbles the agent without looking up. “I’m not visiting, I am going to Bermuda” I
say brightly. No response. 60 seconds passes. “What is the purpose of your visit to the United States?” comes the bored voice again whilst thumbing through my passport. I repeat my statement. Another minute goes by. “Sir, you must tell me why you are here in the
US”. Now he looks up. Tired eyes, miserable demeanor. Is he deaf? I consider using sign- language, but decide on the original strategy. “Well, er … no, you see….I am not here
to visit anyone or anything. I am going to Bermuda”. Whilst I am pondering the stupidity of an airport design which forces internationally transiting passengers to pass immigration, he repeats, eyes narrowed, “Sir, why have you come to the U.S. today?”. There is an air of suspicion in his voice. “Do you intend to stay in the U.S.?”. My onward flight is sitting on the counter for all to see. I’m about to lose it. “No, and why would I?”
I say. “Sir?” “…want to stay” I continue. I have now
had enough. “Look, I have just arrived from London which was very nice. I‘m going to Bermuda. Also very nice, possibly better. I’m travelling on a Swiss passport through your busiest international airport. If I wanted to sneak in undetected I’d hardly be here talking to you, more likely in the back of a truck
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www.onboardhospitality.com
somewhere near El Paso hiding under a pile of watermelons. Why would I stay here anyway? I mean look at it! Have you looked outside? It’s awful. Not quite the American Dream is it?” He looks at me and I fear I might just have overdone it and an unscheduled holiday at Club Fed is on the cards. He looks out of the window at the swirling grey drizzle. The stamp comes down with a thump, passport slapped back on the counter. “Next!” he shouts over my shoulder.
Scene Two: “Who you come see?” said the Security Guard in faltering English at the gate of the catering. She looks at me as if I have just emerged from a dumpster. “The same person I saw yesterday and every
day for the past week, and three times this year already, and annually for the past 9 years!” I say. “Do you suffer from some sort of short- term memory loss? I mean I am not difficult to recognize. I am the only one wearing a hat for a start!”.
“You empty bag and take off shoes!” Ugh! Why is the effort of pleasantness, politeness and welcome so hard? This is the hospitality business. Whether at Immigration, airport security or reception, this is the first contact one has with the people they represent. First impressions count! OK, so they hate their jobs but can they
at least not get the same training we do for cabin crew or other hospitality professions? A uniform and badge isn’t a license to treat everyone as pond life.
Scene Three: I take my seat on a familiar flight. “Welcome aboard Mr Clark” says the flight attendant who has never met me before, “So nice to have you with us again today. Is there anything I can do for you?” I feel better already. Yes, I think to myself, you can go back to the Immigration Hall and tell the guy that I have gone to El Paso. If I ever find myself there I will send him a postcard. That should brighten up his day!
www.nickbremer.com
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