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Jeremy Clark


What a tangled web they weave! Jeremy Clark attempts to book an airline ticket on line. Email your comments to: clarkjeremy@hotmail.co.uk


Do you have people in your family who buy clothes designed to look like they were extracted from the recycling bin?


‘Distressed’ I think is the term for these. Similarly attired kids are to be found walking through airports, heads down staring at their Eye-Prods assuming that the rest of us will somehow magically avoid them. If you recognise this species, then doubtless


you are wired up to the www (Whacky World of Weirdoes), a world that the airlines have embraced in the name of convenience (to them) where we can organise our travel plans without them having to pay travel agents. And here’s something that distresses me. If you online bank, shop, or are a regular user


of Tubeface, the web is a great place. But you need a perfect memory to recall the myriad of passwords required to get anything done. I have so many, I use a special website which stores all my passwords. The problem is I forget the password to get into it, so that’s on a post-it on the screen. My main issue with airline websites is standards, or rather lack of them. It’s not that long ago that when buying


travel you went and sat with someone who tapped at some keys or looked things up in the ABC* (remember that?). You walked away with a nice cardboard airline wallet, an eight-page paper ticket and a sense of security. These days we are the travel agents. The old system had a standard form of ticketing using standard methods so why, in this age of globalised standards do the airlines’ booking sites vary so much? Each is different and many littered with annoying features. The very worst offenders are of course my favourite pet, the likes of Ryanair and some other LCCs who’s sites are a minefield of options, confusions and opt-outs which, if missed result in a £3.99 fare to Prague costing the same as an FC ticket to Sydney.


30 www.onboardhospitality.com


The labyrinthine multiple choices combined with add-on sales mean you might not just get a ticket to Prague but have re-insured your car and bought a rug too. I can tell you five indisputable facts about


the guys who design these sites. They . . . . 1. Go everywhere by car or walk because they clearly never book themselves an airline ticket 2. Are 12 years old and capable of reading eight point Times New Roman font in Italics 3. Are ‘Designers’ and not of our world. Words like ‘practical’, ‘clear’, ‘logical’, ‘functional’ and ‘usable’ are not in their vocabulary 4. Haven’t realised that when we click on ‘Contact Us’, we want a phone number 5. Don’t understand when we click on ‘back’ we just want to undo the last click, not restart the entire itinerary. Some of them have got it close to right. The updated BA.com is pretty good. AA.com was


always very easy. It’s made for Americans who, with respect, don’t have time or patience for the complicated. Singapore Airlines is a lesson in ‘If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it’. Their site was fine until someone decided to ‘fix’ it resulting in such a mess it warranted an open apology from the ceo. Even the most basic terms vary when you


open a site: ‘Create a Trip’ invites BA. ‘Book Travel’ says American. Efficient Swiss just say ‘Flight’. Finnair: ‘Reservations’. I like Emirates who says: ‘What Would You Like To Do?’ although the ‘Get Someone Else To Do This’ button seems to be missing. Like my son’s jeans, it’s all rather distressing


and saddest of all, I don’t get to use my BOAC ticket wallet anymore. Still, on the positive side I do have a nice new rug.


* ABC World Airways Guide


www.nickbremer.com


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