found anything that would cause him to show excitement. He just calmly drove his ’Burban around the gopher field ig- noring all our requests. It was a windy day, but Andy seemed impervious to the wind, causing Fred to whine at one point in his Southern drawl, “Andy, do you think you could possibly park so that we can shoot in even more cross wind?” Later Fred and I spotted a gopher
at the same time, about 6 feet off our right doors. Our frantic shouts of, “Stop, Stop, Andy!” were met only with a, “Huh?” Fred and I were both armed with Ruger Mark II pistols, and as Andy just crept along, we hit that gopher like a P47 straf- ing a German supply train! We emptied our magazines, putting 20 rounds in the direction of that gopher. We got him, too! Andy just muttered, “You guys are crazy.” We both felt better. One year when Fred came to Mon-
tana to shoot, he surprised local ranchers, Bud and Carol Boyce, with a 3-foot-long steel version of their brand, the lazy Y-O, to hang over their gate. Without mentioning anything, he had it made for them in appreciation for letting him shoot on their place. One could say that Fred had a big heart. When I was invited to an an-
nual NRA memorial shoot in Kansas, I brought my partner Fred along. He got along with that crew pretty well and looked forward every year to going there and harassing those nice people. But they
conspired to get him good. One year Larry Parker did a phenomenal engrav- ing job on Fred’s Ruger Mark II pistol. It was a thing of beauty and Fred took it everywhere and showed it to everyone! Ruger even offered to buy it from Fred. The next year the Kansas crew, without letting Fred learn about it, printed and distributed some raffle tickets offering Fred’s beloved engraved pistol as the prize. When they announced, to his great surprise, that they were ready to draw for the winner of his pistol, I believe it was truly the first time in his life that he couldn’t say a word! Shortly after I first met Fred, I just
knew I had to use his picture in our VAR- MINT HUNTER Magazine® ads. Fred’s smile was genuine and it showed. He personified fun and optimism. We got a lot of calls asking for Fred, and we would explain he was a long-time cus- tomer. They were always disappointed that they couldn’t talk to this friendly, likable guy. People would come up to him in restaurants and say, “I bet you’re Happy as a Clam!” and he would smile and make a new friend. Ron Coburn of Savage Arms said that, “When you think of the American, you think of Fred. He’s loud and hard driving but generous and always makes you feel like you’re one of the team.” You were always important to Fred and he wasn’t afraid to let you know it. The English language doesn’t have
enough colorful words for Fred. So he just made up some more. Here are a few Fred “isms.” Famosity: What Fred enjoyed when he became our poster boy. It’s a Wonderful Thing: Any really great shot, rifle, day, etc. Gorjisimo: beautiful, as in “That shot was gorjisimo!” Reverse Bunger: Fred’s favorite
shot, involving the exhaust system of a varmint.
Helicopter: after connecting with
a varmint, it resembles the blades of a Huey heading off. Buddha Belly: A well-fed prairie
dog on his mound contemplating his surroundings. Bubble Butt: Fred’s name for a
James Calhoon 52-grain Rebated Boat Tail, his favorite .22 caliber bullet. Fourple: Four varmints dispatched
with one shot. Acca Pucky: any useful concoction from gun grease to body filler. Wet Down Both Legs: A result of
excitement (e.g., after a Reverse Bunger). In June of 2010 I lost my beloved
friend, shooting partner, and mascot, Fred Heil. He’s off on a new adventure now. I figure he’s up there teaching Peter how to shoot long range and even throw- ing in a well-placed insult or two … and it will put a smile on both their faces.
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