to lay a pickup line on you, and… wait for it… Pampers. Yes, a class of diaper is called “Cruiser.” Enough said. Since cruisers of the boating


persuasion have to exhibit some seamanship or else not go very far, I asked my friend, “How about ‘seamen?’” Her reply: “Seamen, well there’s that problem of me saying it over the phone or using it in a talk without giggling.” It was then that I remembered once telling a cute “seaman,” who was flirting outrageously with me to, “Mind your futtock shrouds,” which caused him to blanch and ask what the hell I was talking about. I’ll never do that again. We’re now left with that plethora


of obscure nauticalia that includes sea dog, bluejacket, shellback, swab, tar, and Old Salt, but some of those sound like after-shave or tobacco products. It’s a devilish problem, this elusive


word we so desperately need to call ourselves. We’ve ruled out boaters, yachtsmen, mariners, cruisers, seamen, and obscure names. “Sailor” is an obvious choice, but it implies the use of sails. However, the Navy is chock full of “sailors” who aren’t trimming jibs, and car ferries around Puget Sound


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48° NORTH, MAY 2011 PAGE 37


A friend with whom I was discussing this said, “I had a boater on my wall for years. It was my grandpa’s and it got brittle on the edges.”


use the word “sailings” to describe their regularly scheduled ho-hum crossings, as do cruise ships. Think about it: Unless you’re a motorhead, isn’t “sailing” a lot more romantic to say over the public address system than, “Folks, we’re revving up our fixed-pitch propellers with those roarin’ 3,000 horsepower diesels…” Maybe “sailings” is supposed to make passengers think, “Hey! We’re sailing!” Maybe some sniff the sea air from their Lexuses and go “Arrrrgh, me hearties!” I like “sailor,” but when it includes all that, I’m not so sure it’s the best word, either. So, it’s back to “boater.” Don’t you


find it confusing that there’s always an adjective attached to the word? Being just “boaters” isn’t good enough for the likes of us; for legal and other purposes, we’re “Recreational Boaters.” I don’t understand this. Tanker captains aren’t called “Petroleum Boaters.” Grain ship crews aren’t called “Bulk


Boaters,” though I bet they’d like to be. A submarine captain isn’t a “Submerged Boater,” and who’d ever live that one down anyway? Besides, “Recreational Boater” isn’t always accurate. Sometimes things aren’t all recreational and hunky-dory aboard our boats—like when we’re seasick and no longer “recreating.” Are we then “Regurgitational Boaters?” My friend and I were stumped at


what to call this diverse collection of people and their boats. She said, “I like ‘cruisers’ best, but some people think it’s too “ocean” for their inshore friends.” And that’s the rub: where we all


come together is in our imaginations. Somehow we need to make this connection, because most inshore lives have offshore dreams, and sometimes offshore sailors dream of being back on dry land. I still don’t have the perfect word to describe us, but one thing is certain: whether we stay close to home waters or go wandering far afield, we’re all “voyagers” in our minds.


48° N


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